Dream Achievement Is Stalled When We Resist Change

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Catherine Hughes

Director of the 8 Women Dream Project at 8 Women Dream
Catherine’s dream is to make 8 Women Dream the premier online publication for women looking to pursue their dreams. She is a published author, a freelance writer, and a guide for those who want their dreams to come true online. Catherine would someday like to be invited to speak at TED about her observations about her 8WD project inviting women to take a chance on their dreams. Wine was required... Catherine posts on Sunday evenings and fills in dream stories as needed. If you aren't sure how to comment on this story, click here.

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As you may have noticed there have been some recent changes on 8 Women Dream.

I resisted change by trying to get people to stay with their dream on 8 Women Dream, when they long ago had given up on the idea of going after their big dream.

Change is so pervasive in our lives that it is almost impossible to see when we are resisting it – even when the change brings us to a better place, solves a problem or teaches us something new about ourselves.

As I move old dreamers’ posts over into the Past Dreamers section of this blog, I suddenly notice when they let go of their dream.  It ends up being farther back in months than I realized.  I am shocked by how much I didn’t notice their struggle, their resistance to change in their lives – or trusting in the unknown.  I also didn’t see the sadness revealed by their writings.

How did I miss seeing the resistance to change?

So often we think tomorrow should look just like today. Yet, our pets and children grow old, friends move, parents pass away – even dinner is gone once we eat it.

Why do we think things will stay as they are?   Every day we get out of bed we are entering the great unknown. We have no way of knowing how each day will be – we only think we do – which is an illusion.

I understand change seems to upset what little balance we feel we have in our lives, so we resist it.  This resistance comes in two forms: active and passive.

  • Active resistance is easy to recognize: it’s vocal. It’s when we blame, argue, and rationalize why things should stay the same.
  • Passive resistance is when we ignore, or refuse to participate in change. Procrastinating is a passive way we resist change.

I am almost to 4 weeks without sugar, alcohol or flour. Once my knees began to hurt walking over two miles, I was then motivated to make big changes in my lifestyle. I am loving the change, but why did I procrastinate for so long in initiating such an important change in my life?

It is said that we only welcome change when we know what’s going to happen to us.

Once this is answered to our satisfaction, one of our greatest barriers to change is removed.  Was aching, painful knees the information that I needed? Did my fear of not being able to do the things I want become greater than my fear of change – even when I didn’t know I was resisting change?

Are we resisting the things that will make our dreams come true by finding reasons not to continue down the dream road we’ve started?  Is it that we just don’t recognize that we are going through a natural process, and if we stay with it, everything will eventually be OK?

Our reactions to change goes through three stages, they are:

1. Endings: The a period of grieving or loss of how it was or the old way of doing things, even when the old way is not working and causing problems in our lives.

2. Neutrality: The stage when we are either confused or in doubt. During this period we are still trying to hold on to the way things were, while trying to assess what things are going to be like. For many of us the neutrality stage is when we experience the most fear and anxiety.

3. New Beginnings: This is where we start to focus on the positive aspects of the change and begin to see the new possibilities and a better future. It is this last stage where we realize that we can adapt and make change happen. We are happy.

Seth Godin says, “The ability to change fast is the single most important asset in a world that’s changing fast.”

I say, “The ability to change fast is the single most important asset in the world where we make our greatest dreams come true.”

We have said goodbye to three members on 8 Women Dream, while welcoming in three new.

It is said, “Change is inevitable.”

Even so, we still resist it.

We just have to make sure we aren’t resisting it, because I don’t want to move any more names over into the Past Dreamers category, and I don’t want to have to wait until I can’t walk to decide it’s time to change bad habits.


I love welcoming Laurie, Toni and Rayne to 8 Women Dream.  They bring with them the positive aspects of welcoming change.

So bring it on sisters –


(Catherine’s dream is to be a motivator and published writer. She is testing her theories on motivation with this blog and the seven other women who have volunteered to be a part of her dream project. Catherine also writes about her life as a mom at the blog A Week In The Life Of A Redhead. Someday, she would also like to be invited to speak at TED as the next Erma Bombeck Catherine usually writes the weekly motivation posts which are published late Sunday evenings for the following week)


  • Veronica

    I am so proud of you Cath, good job.

  • Naomi Brockert

    Hi, Thanks for the amazing post. You’ve helped me a lot.

  • Catherine, Site Admin

    Thank you Lisa for always adding your positive spin to everything. Everyone needs that person on the team who is always saying, “Great job, let’s do it.”


  • Welcome to all the new ladies!!! So excited to get to know you!

    Thanks for your leadership Cath… Challenging I know to do what you do for us… It IS appreciated…

    I loved this: Endings, Neutrality, and New Beginnings (yes) and your re-interpretation of Seth’s quote: I say, “The ability to change fast is the single most important asset in the world where we make our greatest dreams come true.”

    AMEN to that! Together, we’ll make it happen!


  • Catherine, Site Admin

    Thanks Chris and H for your comments. Thinking about procrastination as fear of change helps me deal with it when I see that I am putting something off.

  • Chris Jenkins

    Great post – I really liked the part about procrastination being about passive resistance to change. Great advice all the way around. Don’t blame yourself for people who find change difficult. Change is everywhere.

    Here is another site that has some good info on change and I thought your readers may benefit: http://managementwisdom.typepad.com

  • H

    The whole procrastination thing always bites ya in the butt if you play into it.

    Change is everywhere and we need to learn to roll with it.