Moving 3000 miles away from the only place I knew was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done in my life.
It was scary, yet there have been blessings.
The state of shock and numbness helped me transition my life and I faked it until I made it. But lately I’ve been pondering what is the definition of making it? How do you know when you are successful? Success can represent many things to many different people.
Success to me is living my dreams and having fun while doing it. After surviving losing everything I owned, fun and laughter itself is a dream come true.
This week, I’ve been re-evaluating my life and looking at the big picture. I noticed that I don’t have as much fun as I once did. What’s up with that? Is it because I am too engulfed in achieving my dreams? Are my dream-obsessions depressing me? Am I asking too much?
I think it’s that I may have too much responsibility that I am carrying by myself and it scares me and I feel bad. I need a break.
I am such an independent soul. I always have been. Perhaps it is because I was forced to be responsible at an early age. Many people who grew up with me will say, “Get out of here! Responsible? You were anything but responsible!” On the surface, maybe. Because every chance I had to let loose and be myself, I would throw myself completely into it. I lived a dual life and the irresponsibility was part of the escape from the responsible side. The crazy irresponsible were some of the most wonderful parts of my life.
Fun is necessary for so many reasons. It keeps us sane, it keeps us young. I want fun back on a regular basis.
I grew up with people who remain my best friends. Some of us have been friends since the age of 2. We did everything together, including talking about our dreams for our lives. Now that we are adults, we still talk about our dreams even though our dreams have changed somewhat. We still support one another and would do anything for each other until the day we die. It’s great to have a support system like this — it’s the best feeling in the world. The security that these deep friendships bring to me and the trust that comes with these relationships is a built-in life insurance policy.
I met my friend, Barbara in kindergarten and I knew that we were destined to be best friends. She one of those friends where we laugh the moment we see each other or pick up the phone to say hi. We’ve been in predicaments similar to Lucy and Ethel on the I Love Lucy show. She just turned 51 and our bond has not changed throughout the years. We are as silly as we were in 7th grade sitting in detention and laughing while we were punished.
This dear friend understands that this isn’t the happiest of times for me and that I am in a bit of a slump. She decided to fly me to Montana (where she lives) for a much-needed break from all my seriousness about my dreams and my life. Soon I will be packing my winter clothes and hopping on a plane to embrace her. The fun will begin the moment I see her.
I am sharing this with you today because sometimes dreaming is not all fun and laughter. Sometimes dreaming sucks.
Dreaming is like life in that way. But just like you shouldn’t give up on life when things get bad, you also shouldn’t give up on your dream when it gets rough. People don’t often talk about the rough patches of dreaming, or they share them once they are a success. But people need to see the setbacks as they are happening so that they know that this is a very real part of the dreamer’s journey.
Setbacks and disappointments are very real. And when life is kicking the shit out of your dream, it’s time to take a break, call a friend and find a way to do something else that makes you laugh. It’s time to create space for a dream breakthrough.
Some people will have you believe that their dreams were accomplished overnight, but we all know that can’t be the whole story. You know that they had to pay their dues too. I have never witnessed a so-called “overnight success.” I have to continue to sort through my dreams based on reality and prioritize my goals … and possibly detour from my plan a bit.
During this part of the dreaming process I am trying to use my wonderful sense of humor. I’ve recently learned that humor should be an important part of making your dreams come true. Otherwise you’ll quit your dream because it’s no fun. When you find yourself feeling tired of working hard, tired of the responsibilities around pursuing your dreams, and tired of trying to change your life, call the friend who makes you laugh the hardest — the one that makes you laugh until you pee yourself.
If you can’t think of a fun friend, rent your favorite comedy movie, or watch your favorite comedian, but do something that makes you remember the lighter side of life and laugh out loud. Take a break from your dream. It’s okay if you didn’t work on it this week. Sometimes life does get in the way of your dream. It’s okay. Shit happens. Sometimes the simple act of taking a break helps you gain perspective on how you are living and what may be holding you back from your dream.
Sometimes a dream break creates a breakthrough, so take a break when your dream is getting you down.
Now go have some fun!
Today’s recipe is for a Ramos Fizz to cure the hangover you may have after having too much fun.
New Orleans Ramos Fizz
- 1 oz of gin
- 1 oz of lime juice (fresh squeezed is best)
- 1/ oz lemon juice (fresh squeezed is best)
- 21/2 oz simple syrup (some will use powdered sugar)
- 4 oz whipping cream or vanilla ice cream
- 1 small egg (you can just use the egg white if you like a frothier fizz)
- 2 dashes fleurs d’orange or a teaspoon of orange juice concentrate
- ice cubes
- Club soda
Place all of the ingredients minus the club soda into a blender with ice cubes. If you feel brave you can do this in a shaker, but you will have to work your butt off shaking it and you may not feel like it. Do whatever floats your boat.
Blend until frothy
Top with a dash of club soda.
This makes two fizzes or one really big one. Enjoy!
The photographs featured in this post are pictures of me and my best friend growing up and having fun.