You must be careful to protect yourself from people who might stand in the way of your dream, especially if there are people in your life who are toxic and don’t want you to change. Sometimes it is difficult to see that someone is being toxic with you when they are projecting their feelings of anger and hostility by blaming you for their problems.
Dealing with addictive personality types takes special training and support. This week I will leave you with the signs you could be engaging with an addictive personality and the signs of an alcoholic. I want you to understand how these people can interfere with your dream plans.
The idea of an addictive personality is hotly debated in medical and psychology circles where some experts believe addictive personality involves a particular set of psychological traits that predispose certain individuals to addictions.
Addictive personality traits may include –
- Low distress tolerance – Poor stress management skills which lead to drugs, alcohol or food addictions to manage emotions.
- Compulsive behavior – Engaging in behavior that involves risk. People who feel compelled to engage in harmful behaviors over and over again, where they feel bad after and feel powerless to stop the behavior.
- Switching vices – When one harmful behavior is given up, another one is picked up. For example, a smoker might give up cigarettes and replace them with drinking vodka.
- Depression – People often turn to alcohol or drugs to drown the depressive feelings they are having so they can sleep. They tend not to want to go anywhere but to the isolation of their home and bed.
- Insecurity – Often the root of many of these behaviors is the heart of a terribly insecure person who drinks to feel more comfortable and fit in.
- ADD personalities – People with ADD will often use a vice like cigarettes or alcohol to calm themselves down enough to relax and sleep.
Some signs of someone who is in trouble with alcohol can be –
- Oversleeping or difficulty sleeping
- Drinking that leads to dangerous situations like driving drunk, walking in an unsafe area, going home with a stranger from a bar.
- Unable to control drinking: “just one drink” rapidly leads to more
- Avoiding activities that do not involve the opportunity to drink, only wanting friends who drink too.
- Increased irritability, agitation and anger. Blame others for their problems.
- Excessive weeping and emotional displays. Becomes the “victim” and takes no responsibility for what is happening in their lives. Everyone is out to get them, doesn’t understand them – often feeling sorry for themselves. An over-active sense of often feeling hurt by others.
- Unexplained absences and sick days from work, or difficulty making commitments and difficulty with follow through.
Now I don’t want anyone to panic about these signs as many of us can exhibit one of these behaviors every now and then. The alcoholic is always moving through these behaviors, and sometimes so subtly that you might not notice.
Some Doctors like to use the CAGE questionnaire when evaluating alcoholism. The CAGE questionnaire is named for its four questions listed below.
Two “yes” responses indicate that the respondent should be investigated further.
The questionnaire asks the following questions –
- Have you ever felt you needed to Cut down on your drinking?
- Have people Annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
- Have you ever felt Guilty about drinking?
- Have you ever felt you needed a drink first thing in the morning (Eye-opener) to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?
Our dreams are important, so we must be vigilant not to let people and situations, even bad habits stop us from moving forward on our dreams.
Sometimes as we change, people will move out of our lives. Old ways of engaging will fall away to new, and hopefully better circumstances. The people closest to you may become afraid of the positive change they see happening with you as you go after your dream. You must hold strong in your commitment to go after what you want and not let someones fear hold you back.
Going after a dream is a positive step in our lives. Don’t let anything or anyone stop you. If you are dealing with an addictive personality – get support. Go to About.com’s Codependency Resources for help.
Veronica left 8 Women Dream in December of 2010 an accomplished dreamer.