What To Do When I Dream of Inner Peace
My quest of accepting my body as I try to obtain a better one will continue, even though I am leaving for a quickie vacation in San Louis Obispo to visit my son.
My son has about a million things that are perfect about him, and the one great thing is, the way he supports my quest to obtain that perfect body image.
My son is a daily surfer, while he also enjoys boulder climbing, triathlons, mountain bike riding, running and just about any other physical sport. He helps get my body moving – from the moment we awake until I collapse into bed.
He motivates me to not only move but to move past my comfort zone.
Working with drug addicts and alcoholics can be a challenge. It can drain my energy if I allow it. I find it necessary to take time off to breathe. It is my experience that when I am able to get away, I leave feeling exhausted, irritable with little-to-no patience.
After replenishing my inner self on this short vacation, I will return home a woman full of peace and inner calm. I look forward to feeling this way again, because right now I am about as far from those positive emotions as the sun is to Pluto.
Just stay out of my way as I run out the door.
I should take to heart the fact that as I struggle with my own path to be at peace with my body, as there are many other people who struggle with negative body images too.
A poll conducted by People magazine found that only 9% of women were completely happy with their bodies and 93% had tried to lose weight.
Losing weight is the number one wish of girls between 11 and 17. More than half of 13 year old girls are unhappy with their bodies, and this jumps to three-quarters by age 18. Nearly 40% of students between the third and sixth grade have tried dieting.
And one tenth of nine-year-olds have engaged in self-induced vomiting in an effort to lose weight.
Dr. Liz Dittrich, a clinical psychiatrist who researches body image issues estimates that around 70% of women feel their bodies are too large. Interestingly, the average female body shape that men rate as ideal is consistently heavier than the body shape considered ideal by women.
How do we work at fixing it?
Sundar Ramaswami, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at the F. S. Dubois Community Mental Health Center advises a few moments of meditation each day to help improve body image and self-esteem. He suggests we begin by meditating for 20 minutes twice a day.
My mini vacation will have the same effect. Maybe when I get home I can remind myself to go off by myself and meditate just a little bit every day to try and keep the sense of peace I feel after I have been away.
Even though my son is not with me.
What are you going to do for you today?
See you next week -
(Veronica’s dream is body satisfaction. This includes losing weight, making her body strong, accepting her body image while trying to achieve a better one. Veronica is a recovering alcoholic who has turned a liability into an asset. She works with women who desire staying clean and sober and works with families as a interventionist.)
DREAM GOAL: May 16,2010 Bay to Breakers 12K
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Comments (7)
My son makes me forget about everything just as soon as I see his smiling face. I don’t know what I will do once he has moved away. Lucky for me he is 14 so I have some time yet! I hope you have a wonderful time with him. I know you are a great mom.
My body issues came from years spent in ballet, abusing my body to be thin. I think you can really mess up your metabolism with constant dieting and starving. Look at how my thyroid failed in my 40s?
When my thyroid decided to stop working, it made me so sick that it was all I could do to crawl out of bed in the morning. Once the Drs figured out what was wrong, I began the medication and my slow recovery.
The body image changed to concerns of proper sleep, vitamins and being able to go for long walks again. Doing the Bay to Breakers with all 8 of us in May will make me feel like I have come back from the abyss.
And it was your idea.
Right now I am just grateful to be able to have the energy I need to go to work and keep up with my 14 year old – never mind what my body looks like naked.
Have fun!
Have a wonderful vacation Veronica! Sounds amazing…
I am definitely a fan of regular ongoing meditation to cultivate and keep a sense inner peace. I would say it is the ONE thing I have done in my life that has created the most positive and lasting change.
I have a daily meditation practice – 20 minutes in the morning before starting my day. I am not “perfect” and usually give myself one day off a week just because – and sometimes two. Occasionally I meditate at night instead (even better probably to meditate in the morning AND at night! I’m not there yet – but love starting my day with meditation).
I had to build to this level of regular practice over time however… Started with 5 minutes a day, sporadically, and over time came to do 20 minutes regularly.
It makes a HUGE difference in my level of inner happiness and peace. Keeps it steady for me. Enables me to quiet my mind when I have negative thoughts of any kind – to choose another thought instead. To feel more joy as well.
I wish you luck in keeping up a regular practice – let me know how I can support you in this!
Hugs,
Lisa
p.s. the statistics about women’s bodies and body image were quite sobering…. I struggled a lot in the past with body image issues and with eating disorders, etc. Am extraordinarily grateful to finally feel good about my body – and good and healthy – now.
I wish the same for ALL women – to feel good about ourselves, no matter what our shapes and sizes, and to continue to do things that improve our health because we are WORTH it (not just because it will make us look better for a man or whatever – that’s just a side benefit of healthy habits
.
p.s. just stumbled onto this link (was sent to me in an enewsletter) about a book called “Love Your Body, Love Your Life!” which sounds like a great one – here is what the author has to say about it – check out the link for more:
http://www.sarahmaria.com/
“Hi, my name is Sarah Maria…
“And for 14 years I tried to find peace, happiness, and success by ‘controlling’ my body. I accepted that common, pervasive, and deadly poisonous cultural myth: If I was thin, then I was beautiful … I was worthwhile … I was successful, accomplished, and lovable.
“I made my self-worth, self-image, and all hope of ever being happy, entirely dependent on ‘external factors’ – primarily, trying to live up to an unrealistic, and ultimately unattainable, set of media-imposed standards for how I should look.
“Sound familiar?
“Then you need to know what I eventually came to understand:
“Your self-worth is an intrinsic part of who you are. You are beautiful simply because you exist. You are lovable simply because you are here.”
AMEN – you are lovable NOW exactly as you are Veronica – so remember that
xoxo
L
Veronica – As you can probably see by the photo taken of me in my profile (I was 5) I have had issues with weight my whole life. I’m not sure why. Blood tests at 40 years old told me nothing abnormal about thyroid or my cholesterol levels. I don’t have diabetes. At the time of that blood work I was exercising 3 times a week, in a boot camp kinda thing. When I asked the doctor why I was still overweight, he said “I don’t know. Maybe its just how your body is.” And that is from an internist. I know that the body is an amazing thing, and its not as simple as food in food out, and as long as I eat less than I burn off, I’ll be ok. There are lots of things that can influence it like emotions and their impact on our body chemistry. The problem can be that we’re all different looking for a single solution which may not exist. You are finding the balance of food, exercise, meditation, and self love that will eventually work for you! I know it. And never in my list of dreams was the bay to breakers, so that will be fun to train for. Thank you for sharing that one with us! I look forward to hearing more about your `journey. Rem
Why is it that most women can’t feel comfortable at any weight. Is it from the media? Was it like this before magazines, TV? Didn’t it used to be that the sign of wealth was “plumpness”? Or are we just fatter because food is so easily available?
Whatever it is, let’s keep trying to finding that balance. Have a great trip!
My thing is to go to the Gold country. There is something about the Sierras that puts me right again.
All women are beautiful. It’s sad that in this country we don’t make women feel like they all matter. Where in the hell would we men be without them?
Veronica – congrats on getting moving with your son! My son asked me to run with him this morning… it was 42 degrees and running just doesn’t happen for me, but next time I’m headed out there!
The stats are painful, and as an aunt of 4 nieces from 7-22 yrs I hear the crop they say about their own bodies and other girls shock me sometimes. As an ex-dancer I’m surprised my metabolism isn’t more screwed up.
Remember that list? Put your name at the top… literally!