The 3 Steps To Finding Your Dream

3 Steps to Finding Your Life Purpose

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Last updated on January 18, 2015

If you want to join us in chasing a dream, this page is for you!

If you are not sure you have a dream, or that your dream is the right dream, then follow the steps below to find out if what you think you love is actually the right dream for you.


• Find a quiet place where no one will disturb you.  Bring a notebook and pencil. 

Allow yourself 30 minutes.  If music moves your soul, put on some soft music, meditate, stretch – anything that gets your creative juices flowing.


Your best friend has an opportunity to present his/her portfolio to an agent.  He/she has been waiting for this opportunity their whole life.  On the day before the meeting he/she is freaking out thinking he/she is not good enough, not ready, can’t do it and lacking all sense of self-esteem.

• Write down what you would do to help this friend make it to the meeting.

A favorite relative wants to learn how to paint more than anything in the world and thinks he/she might have some talent with a paint brush.  He/she has all the tools to paint – the canvas, the brushes, the paints – even the perfect room to paint in.  But somehow he/she can’t bring his/herself into that room to paint or sign up for any painting classes.

• Write down what you might say to this relative to help him/her sign up for a painting class and start painting.

A co-worker you like hates his/her job and is always talking about becoming a pilot.  He/she has even  investigated the classes and thinks its too expensive and he isn’t smart enough.  Besides, he she is over 45 years old – why take the risk at this stage of his/her life?

• Write down how you might help this co-worker more toward this big of a career change.

When you are done with this, read the next sentence.  It is better if you wait to read on until after you have completed the above exercise.

What you answered above (how you would help these people) is actually how you like to be helped.  We respond with our version of “help.”

Being Assisted

Think back to two times in your life where you really wanted to do something that you thought was a great idea and you allowed yourself to be talked out of it.  Write down at least two incidences when this happened and what was done to convince you not to move forward.

• If you could go back and assist yourself in these two situations what would you tell yourself and how would you handle it.

Read over your answers.  Do you see a pattern forming in what your head may tell you about risk and going after a dream?  Is it you, or some old programming left over from your childhood that you are still listening to as an adult?

You can come to your own rescue and set up situations where you ask for the support that you need.  The first step is to understand that you have the power to step in and assist yourself by asking other people to do for you what you would have done to help other people, as in the stories told above.

This exercise was to help us (and help you) realize where the voices in our head come from.  What we tell ourselves (especially the negative) has nothing to do with the person we are at this moment.  The person you are now can do anything.

R  E  A  L  L  Y.

Anything is possible.

The homework from step 1 is to go to a bookstore, clear your mind, take a deep breath and walk in straight to the section you would go to if you knew you only had one week to live.

Where would you be found?  What would you be reading?

The 3 Steps To Finding Your Dream: Step 2

Step 2

Did you figure out where you would immediately go in a bookstore?

Let’s do another little exercise to see if you can figure out why you choose to go to that same section of a bookstore.

• Past Loves (and NO this is not about sex or dating)

Get out a piece of paper and a pen or pencil.

• Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for at least 30 minutes.

It is said that if you love and are drawn to something (not someone in this case), there is a natural special (and usually inborn) ability hidden there.  What do you get lost in doing and why?  Have you ever stopped to ask yourself this question?

Many believe it has to do with hidden talents we’ve been ignoring since our parents told us we have to be more practical.  Who could make a living at that anyway?

• Write down 1- 8 down at the top of a blank page.

Under the single column titled 1-8, draw a single dividing line down middle of this column/page.

Close your eyes and remember the things you liked to do, NO WAIT loved to do between the ages of 1 through 8.

List these things down on the left side of your paper – no matter how stupid your adult brain might think.

You may write that you liked staring at bugs for hours, digging in the dirt for days or riding your bike all over town.  You may have loved playing with cats, climbing trees, hiding behind things or baking with your Easy Bake Oven.

• Write everything you remember that made you happy during this time in your life.

On the right side of this page, across from each item listed, write WHY you liked these things.

I found that I remembered my love for bike riding.  I loved it because it gave me a sense of freedom, it took me to new places, it felt like an adventure, and I felt in control.  I felt independent when I rode my bike.

• Write your whys (and don’t judge them) next to each item in your list.

On another sheet do the same thing for ages 8-16; and possibly for ages 18-24 (if you were still playing at things that you loved without influence from other people).

On a final piece of paper write a list of things you would love to do if time and money were of no concern, and why.

• Do you notice any patterns forming in your answers?

I found that I love things that give me a sense of freedom.  I love adventure, travel and performing in front of people.  I used to play dress up and perform on our family fireplace.  I spent years performing in ballet and in my high school choir.  I loved my drama class and my newspaper class.  I kept a daily journal.  I liked getting up in class and talking.  I loved being a fashion show commentator.

Now I’m not about to go be a ballet dancer, but the common theme I recognized was performing, followed by a second love . . . story telling.

• On a final piece of paper write the jobs or hobbies which might bring out this same sense of fulfillment and happiness.

This is how we began to realize our dreams.

The 3 Steps To Finding Your Dream: Step 3


Now what?

You can form a group for people interested in the same loves.

Think about one thing you can do to take you one step closer to your dream.  Is it to take a class?  Set aside $5.00 a paycheck?  Begin walking three days a week?  Learn golf?  Join a group?  Can you put this thing on a list and take a step toward this goal this week?

We started 8 Women Dream.

You can take a class, join a group in your town, start or find a group online of people that are just as passionate about what you love as you are.

There are thousands of groups on Facebook if you can’t bring yourself to step outside your front door yet.  In our town I often attend Redwood Writers, a local writer’s group that meets once a month.

It’s about finding your tribe.  People who like the same hobbies you do.

Each month when 8 Women Dream meets online in a conference call we challenge each other to take steps towards incorporating our dreams more fully into our lives.  It’s the power behind belonging to a group.  If you are not sure you want to join a group, you can register your dream with Marica Wieder at her Dream University website (it’s free) on her Million Dreams Campaign page.

We welcome your participation and hope that we inspire you to take some risks in your life.

You can join us. Email us at pr(at)  about your dream.  We are happy to discuss your dream idea at our meetings. We will write back to you with our concept on the steps we think you should take.

The 3 Steps To Finding Your Dream

(We credit Barbara Sher, Marcia Wieder, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Anthony Robbins, Jack Canfield and Bob Proctor, and Sir Ken Robinson for being the inspiration behind the steps chronicled here)

For more on how to find your dream and your life’s passion, see —

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Catherine Hughes

Director of the 8 Women Dream Project at 8 Women Dream
Catherine’s dream is to make 8 Women Dream the premier online publication for women looking to pursue their dreams. She is a published author, a freelance writer, and a guide for those who want their dreams to come true online. Catherine would someday like to be invited to speak at TED about her observations about her 8WD project inviting women to take a chance on their dreams. Wine was required... Catherine posts on Sunday evenings and fills in dream stories as needed. If you aren't sure how to comment on this story, click here.

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