I did finally learn to manage it through exercise, meditation and a lot of work with spiritual teachers, but I might not have suffered so much if I hadn’t been too proud to seek help earlier. I would definitely advise anyone suffering from it to seek help – to love themselves enough to do that.

Loved this that you wrote as well: “What are your true priorities, and how can you work toward them?”

So important to keep doing those checks to be sure we are in true alignment with our most important goals.

Thanks for your thoughtfulness and insight Rachel!

One possibility is that someone (maybe even yourself) has talked you into thinking you should be grateful for something that’s not actually good for you. I’ve seen a lot of that talking to the former MLM-ers over at Pink Truth. They “know” they are part of some wonderful opportunity, and they should be grateful for it, meanwhile, they are running themselves ragged for very little pay, or maybe just increasing debt. The work they’re doing doesn’t bring real joy, and sometimes isolates them from friends and even family. Making the effort to be grateful for the opportunity triggers cognitive dissonance. So I think the first thing to do is be sure you’re being honest with yourself. Are you really grateful (or should you really be grateful) for these things? If not, what should you change? What are your true priorities, and how can you work toward them?

Otherwise… if you feel worse thinking about things you know you should be grateful for, or can’t find anything that you really think you can be grateful for, and feel that way for too long, it may be one of those signs that you should seek help. Either your life is so hard that you need help in some physical way (dealing with too many difficult burdens), or it may be time to look for psychological help. I read that narcissistic people have an impaired ability to feel gratitude, and I certainly have had that issue with depression — which in my case has always had a chemical (hormonal) component. These things are treatable.

One reason we find it so hard to seek help is that we don’t want to admit we are weak enough to need it. But of course (and we all know this) everyone needs help at some time. Or we may even be afraid we’re asking too soon… being weak to think we need help when our situation isn’t that bad. And that’s what I’m talking about — this could be a sign that yes, it really is that bad. There usually are some kind of resources we can find, but it means we have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting we need it, and possibly to multiple people before we find the right solution. The thing to remember, I guess, is that it’s worth it.

I wish you all the best in getting it rolling and let me know how it goes… You’ll be giving the kids (and yourself!) a gift by getting them started on this practice. Would love to hear more about the difference it makes…

And I do understand what you mean about how “counting our blessings” can sometimes make things feel even worse. I thought about that when writing the post and am not sure how to suggest that people work around that during those times? What are your thoughts?

I guess maybe it is just good to institute gratitude as a practice and also to remember that life does ebb and flow and that there may be times when we are not “feeling” it and that’s OK too.

It’s all a journey…

Today am very grateful to be on this journey with all of YOU, for my friends here, old and new, and for being a part of the 8womendream team.

Lucky me!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF YOU – may it be your best one yet! (full of gratitude and blessings… I wish this for everyone!)

Love,
Lis

Lisa, I had a little more time at lunch today to look at some of that research. I’m going to go out (hopefully this weekend) and buy a little journal for each of my kids and one for me, and try to set aside a few minutes each day to write an entry as a family activity.

One of my son’s big problems is that he gets very easily frustrated and angry, and has a hard time getting it under control. He goes through a lot of times where he finds it difficult to see anything good. I have high hopes that this will help him much more than trying to point out what’s right about his life when he’s already in an argumentative mood. And it will give me an excuse to ask my teenage daughters to spend at least a few minutes a day at home with me. (They’ll still say, “but why? Mom, we really don’t need it.” And give some very plausible reason they don’t need it, and they have more important things to do. But I will try to stand firm.)