Sometimes when I am introduced as a CEO I turn around to look for the person they are talking about and realize it’s me.

At least we get some of you and your fun humor in your posts!

H

You are so amazing and need to remember that… Two great books that I love – and refer back to when doubting myself – are “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay and “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain.

Lots of great exercises to help us remember how awesome we are, when we forget…

(of course, WE will keep reminding you too!!!).

xoxo
L

Don’t be hard on yourself for being hard on yourself, though! As women, learning to believe in our own abilities can be especially challenging, since we’re socialized to downplay our own strengths, and build up others. That’s not all bad — modesty, and building an equitable environment where people feel comfortable to share, are valuable social traits. But it becomes a problem when we internalize the modesty so much that we can’t recognize our own strengths.

One thing I’ve been learning from the meditation is to cut short that automatic process of jumping from “something isn’t quite right” to “my whole life is awful and always will be.” When the results of your work are unexpected, it is natural, and very functional to question whether you did something wrong. That’s just being careful. The problem, of course, comes from assuming that 1 mistake = I’m a screwup and can’t get anything right. We would never respond that way to someone else’s mistake. Why do it to ourselves?

Re “fake it till you make it” — I don’t believe it’s necessary or desirable to pretend you have answers that you don’t have. I think the key is telling yourself (and others) that you have the ability to figure out what to do. You can solve the problem. The first few times, you project that even though you don’t believe it. After it turns out that you did solve the problem you said you could, you begin to believe it more and more. It helps, too, if you can come with a reason in your own mind for that confidence. Something like, “my boss thinks I’m capable of this, and she knows my abilities, so it must b true.”

If it really means lying, and you’re a fundamentally honest person, it won’t work. You find a way to convince yourself you can succeed, and then… show no fear. Pretending not to be afraid isn’t as hard as pretending to have answers you don’t have.

I think confidence is something you’re born with, but can also be built with environment.

I look at my two girls. One is quiet and reserved but her environment has made her a little more confident.

The other is naturally confident. Her confidence attracts people to her all the time. She gets what she wants because that’s her way of thinking. Not in a spoiled way but more like a confident way.

I love the statement, “fake it until you make it”. I always wished I was a better actress! It would make things so much easier!

Good luck!

I think you are experiencing what we moms call the brain dead years – those years when your kids are small and EXHAUSTING. Once when my son was in pre-school I put him in the car in the morning and drove straight to work – completely forgetting to take him to school. It wasn’t until he said, “Look – it’s mommy’s work!” that it dawned on me what i had done.

They are crazy years with working, caring for them and a home. I think it begins to ease up starting at 3rd grade lol.

I am surprised we are able to have a coherent thought at all during those years and you are trying to accomplish a dream

My hat is off to you.