Dreamers Please, Can We Talk About Motherhood?

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talking about motherhood

This past weekend, I found myself driving four High school girls (one of them being my 17-year-old daughter Perrie) out to an old mental institution.

Wait until you’re a parent.

I didn’t realize that behind this incredibly spooky mad house there was this amazing camping area available to local schools. The girl’s and I had a good old hair raising talking about all the horror movies shot in these types of locations. We squealed and screamed about ax murderers, psychos, mask wearing freaks and more.

I realized I had been field trippin’ for 25 years.

I mean really, once you activate the uterus, there is no turning back.

I remembered having to drive 150 miles to pick up my oldest daughter who flat out freaked on a camp-out. I was pregnant with my third child at the time and never knew if I was going to barf, poop or cry at any given moment.

The absolute selfless, sacrifice it takes to be a Mom is, well, what it takes to be a Mom.

We were supposed to leave my daughter’s school at 9 a.m. I waited patiently in the classroom while the two male, I might add, teachers tried to wrestle these demons into some kind of order. This, of course, is an “alternative” school.

Nothing but the weirdest for my kids.

They were all yelling. The F-bombs were dropping, and there’s hickeys and face piercings, and blue hair, and sweet baby Jesus, who is raising these young people? I’m all for freedom of speech and expressing yourself, but holy Goddess of grace, is there any basic standard of respect?

I made eye contact with my daughter Perrie. She winked at me and I winked back.

On the way to the car I put my arm around her and whispered in her ear, “Yeeeees, you can graduate early Sweetie. Go for it.” It was a perfect opportunity for me to see what she had been talking about. She needed out and I now understood why.

I am often shocked at how much I learn from my kids. It’s like a school, this thing called motherhood. My dream of being a middle-aged, white rapper is fueled greatly by the experience of Mothering.

Here’s my spur of the moment Mama Rap.

You should think long and hard
before moving into the Mother Hood.
Don’t do it just because you think you should.
Don’t do it because your now a wife,
your talkin’ a full on job for life.
There’s shitty pants and the midnight dance
that seems to go on forever.
There’s the massive amount of laundry you’ll do
and oh . . . the patience it takes to be clever.
And even though Dads can be good
women stand alone
in the Mother Hood.
We birth em’ and nurse em’ and bathe em’ and such
adding endless love for the finishing touch.
They’ll break your heart and make it soar
They’ll give you stretch marks and so much more
So listen up and listen good . . .
You have to be strong to be in the Hood
Mother Hood Mother Hood . . .
If you’re going to do it, do it good.

What gets fueled by your experiences?


Laurie has several amazing dreams going on in her life at this time. She left 8 Women Dream in November of 2010 to focus on Club B and her NIA business.

  • Mollie

    woot woot hilarious! Love it!! Mollie

  • Deidra Starnes

    Thanks for making my morning a better by making me laugh out loud! Being a mother makes us all better people and take ourselves less seriously.

  • Catherine, Site Admin

    I am glad you are enjoying this – can’t wait for everyone to meet your wonderful self and Toni! hurry up and get back so I can drag Heather to a NIA class on Sat!

  • Linda the mom

    Hilarious post. I laughed so hard my coffee came out my nose. What you say is so true. I have 5 kids and my last one is a senior (I’m almost done!) and I relate to every word written here. I’d love to hear and see you rap. I hope you put up a video here soon. I’d love to see it. Thank you for starting my morning with a laugh.

  • H

    I don’t know if I welcomed you to the group or not. I’m the crazy busy entrepreneur with a teenage son! Cath keeps bugging me to take your Sat NIA class, so we are going to have to come over so I can meet you and Toni before April. Welcome to the group. I look forward to your posts – so far very funny!

  • Love it! Still want to become a Mom, will practice your rap first ;) and be sure I’m ready to live it!

  • Remy, the photographer

    I’ve had a few Mom to Teen and teen winks back situations this past year – Priceless for sure. I cant wait to hear your rap! Rem

  • Laurie Allen

    True Dat Cath,
    Thanks, I’m enjoying this!

  • Catherine, Site Admin

    lol … ain’t it the truth.

    I wonder what the next 4 years will bring with Brian.

    How you pull this stuff out of nowhere I will never know. We need to put you on Blog Talk Radio.