How To Find Confidence

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I am sitting in front of my computer surrounded by the sounds of gunfire.

My house has been invaded by teenage boys. It is  my son’s sixteenth birthday party.  Three pizzas later followed by ice cream sundaes they are spread out immersed in a video game and I am sitting here thinking about Oprah.

“Why Oprah?” you may ask.

Because she gives me hope.

Her success is inspiring.  She defies stereotypes and her shows are not full of feuding dysfunction.

Oprah  is an  intelligent, compassionate, confident woman.

Which brings me to that elusive word “confidence”.   How does one find that belief that they will succeed?

Through this process of wanting to become a successful artist, I have learned much.  I have learned that many limits  put before me are created by me.

Examples of these include procrastination and not taking the leap when opportunities knock.

I have also learned not to give up because that guaranties failure.

Then there is still that word “confidence”.

This is definitely an area that needs work.

While scouring the Internet for answers I found a list on how to build confidence that I liked.  Wikihow says

  1. Recognize your insecurities.
  2. Don’t view yourself as inferior to others.
  3. Talk about it with friends and loved ones.
  4. Remember that no one is perfect.
  5. Identify your successes.
  6. Be thankful for what you have.
  7. Be Positive
  8. Accept compliments gracefully.
  9. Look in the mirror and smile

I have some work to do.  I also found a great page of Oprah’s quotes. Below is one of my favorites.

“I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.” – Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine, September 2002


(Wendy’s dream is still to become a influential international artist, but she left 8 Women Dream in March of 2010 to complete grad school.  She is still a strong supporter of 8 Women Dream and you will see her in the comments on the blog.)

  • Wendy, beautiful painting as always, I love the confidence list – especially the fact that it includes being OK with our flaws and insecurities! We are all human after all… Not one of us is “perfect.”

    I love the Oprah quote too – am also a huge fan of who she is and all the good she does in the world… And yes, her ability to be so “human” and down-to-earth, despite being a media giant. She’s a true inspiration.

    Thanks for the timely inspiring message! So happy to be a part of the 8womendream team with you!


  • catherine

    Thank you – but I couldn’t do it without each one of you!

  • Wendy

    Your doing an awesome job! When I first saw your ad about 8Women Dream, I was instantly drawn into it. What a wonderful concept of a group of women dreaming and supporting each other and sharing their experience. Great motivation and with your amazing guidance. There was even something magical about the number 8.
    I am grateful to be part of it.

  • Wendy

    Kim I can tell your a wonderful mother! Your beautiful pictures and stories about your daughters clearly show cared for children. It is so great that your planning a trip to Japan with your youngest. They grow up so fast and that experience will be amazing.
    I can also relate to the conversation issue though I find the older I get the easier it is. I do think I need to laugh at myself more. I am way too serious!

  • Catherine, Site Admin

    It’s obvious you have a passion for art.

    I decided to help other people achieve their greatest dreams as my way of giving to the world first before my own dreams.

    So far I am loving it.

    I’ll let you know if that changes ;-)

  • Kim

    You are such a talented artist! But confidence is a tricky thing. I think the balance is to be confident yet humble. To be strong, but be able to laugh at yourself. And questioning yourself helps make you grow and become better at what you do. People are confident in different areas of their life. I am very confident at being a mother, but not so confident at making conversation with people. Keep up the good work!

  • Wendy

    Catherine we were typing at the same moment. I totally agree with you. Oprah is someone we can all relate to because of her honesty, imperfection and generosity. One consistent thought I have had with my art was that if I made it to success, I would like to support the cause of care for the mentally ill. Maybe I am looking at this backwards. That generosity should come first and the success follows.

  • Wendy

    Thanks Remy and Veronica.

    What brought this dialog on was another artist friend I have who demonstrates confidence. He asks for more and receives it. Though part of me knows that I am just as deserving there is a part of me that does not.

    I am unsure if it is a male verses female situation or upbringing. I have always been a giver and there is a part of me that believes I am selfish for going for what I want.

    I know this is an important area that I am going to need to work through so I can be successful. So Oprah’s quote about offering my passion as a service might be the solution.

    Thanks both of you for the support. Wendy

  • Catherine, Site Admin

    My friend Laurie and I were talking about Oprah the other day and the show where she had the male sex addicts on. She asked them if they loved the sex while they were having it, but after felt bad like she does when she has a bag of chips, “I feel great when I am eating them, but the next day. . .” or words to that effect and we both laughed at that side of Oprah – the woman who is not afraid to tell everyone she ate a large bag of chips and equated it with sex. Priceless.

    The other thing I love about Oprah is her having hypothyroidism just like me and I keep hoping with her influence they will find out the root cause of Hashimotos disease and I can be cured.

    An despite her own personal battles with the above mentioned, she gets up every day and goes out there and changes her part of the world.

  • Veronica

    You made me miss having my children at home, they are all grown up and gone away now and those birthday parties were so precious.
    I love the fingerprint analogy, I love what you bring to the table.
    You are already a success, we will just help you be a bigger success.

  • Remy G

    Wendy – I actually looked up ‘confidence’ cause I wanted to make sure I knew the actual definition….and these words that decribed confidence resonated with me the most…

    Self assurance
    Self belief
    Self reliance

    Confidence is a self developed thing – certainly influenced by other people or events, but I guess it just comes down to me, being willing to risk whatever it takes to build it. Some of the most “confident looking” people in my life I know have had their moments of self doubt and insecurities, lots of ‘white noise’ in the way of staying focused on what they want. I just have to remember that, cause like you mentioned, no one is perfect – not even Oprah! :)

    Thank you for a timely reminder!