Why Jealousy in the Workplace Hurts your Dream

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Motivational Speaker Kelly Swanson is an award-winning storyteller, author, and comedian who teaches you how to harness the power of your story to connect, engage, and get results. In this blog, Kelly focuses on the business of professional speaking. Kelly’s post day is Friday. If you aren't sure how to comment on this story, click here.

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Why Jealousy in the Workplace Hurts your Dream: Jealousy envy cartoon by Kelly Swanson

It’s not much fun writing about this topic. Mainly because I have been guilty of letting jealousy thwart my dream.  Yes, even as a motivational speaker, and professional encourager, I struggle with envy, and coveting another person’s dream success.

And I know I’m not the only one who gets jealous of other women.

Jealousy crosses industry lines. It has no color, no age, no size.  I can’t exactly explain it. Why are women wired to compare ourselves to others? Why does our success have to be judged in relation to someone else’s? I don’t know. But the conversation HAS to change.

Here’s the truth: Are there women more successful than you? You bet.

Are there women who are smarter than you? Of course.

Who make more money? Um, duh!

Who are skinnier? Not a hard one there, Ace. Let’s not forget that I’m a “famous” plus-sized model.

So on the scale of “who is better than whom” we’re all pretty much in the middle, with Celine and Oprah being the top and OctaMom being the bottom. Too harsh? Well, you write in the bottom name.

So let’s just agree that we’re not all super stars.

So what?

Yeah. I said it.

So what?

So you’re not the rock star in your industry. Okay, so maybe you don’t make the most money or command the highest fees.

So what?

You are in control of your happiness.

And when you experience jealousy in the workplace by spending your valuable time looking around to see who is doing “it” better, or who looks better doing it — YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. That’s the cold hard truth. This hurts you. Not them. You are the one suffering. And you shouldn’t be.

I know. I get it.

But you know what? I want to be happy.

There. I said it.

I don’t want to live my life feeling like a second class citizen. I want to feel like a million bucks. I want to walk into a room and feel like I belong!

And the only one who can write that story is ME.

So today . . . I write a new story.

And every day that I catch myself turning around and comparing myself to you, I will stop and say,”WAIT! This story doesn’t serve me. Jealousy doesn’t serve me. Her success doesn’t affect mine. Her moment in the spotlight does not mean I won’t have mine. She doesn’t rob me of reaching my dream. She is irrelevant.”

Did you hear me?

SHE is irrelevant.

So let’s let go of that other woman out there we are jealous of.

She doesn’t matter.

Encourage her. Be happy for her. You may not feel it. But choose it. When one succeeds, we all rise up together.

So instead of feeling less than, or being jealous, be happy for her.

Because one day, it will be you.

And you will have earned your place in the spotlight.

Who knows…..you may already be there. And you don’t even know it.

And some woman out there is looking at you, wondering why not her.motivational speaker kelly swanson bio image

So let’s stop being jealous in the workplace, when achieving our dreams, when working on our art, and while living our lives.

We’re better than this.

Kelly Swanson
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