My dream is to help women change the negative things about how they see themselves. I get the most pushback and friction when I try to help them let go of the “flaws” they are convinced prevent them from being beautiful.
Here’s the story of a teenager, Kate, told she had “thunder thighs” by her mother. Having been told I had thunder thighs from middle school on, this doesn’t sit well with me. I was lucky and had enough sense of self that I thought,
Screw whoever doesn’t like my thighs! They’re attached to my legs. I’m quite fond of them.
Kate added this criticism to her internal tape and it played so many times that she got liposuction at 18. And she felt worse about herself after.
I often talk about plastic surgery.
I don’t personally have anything against it, and someday I may want to explore it. I do have a problem with it being advertised and talked about as a magic way to fix your self-esteem. Nearly every woman I’ve known or worked with has mentioned something she would like to “fix” with plastic surgery. In our society we tend to think only of glossy after shots.
We don’t think about the mental, emotional and physical process of surgery and the long road to heal our bodies.
I’ve had a c-section. (Emergency. NOT planned) and I wouldn’t wish that process or the year it takes to heal on anyone.
I’ve often said that getting to your goal weight, or having plastic surgery won’t fix the negative voice in your head. You have to fix it by focusing on your positives and giving just as much credence to who you are as a person. Who you are as a person is much more than just what you look like.