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Mistakes Are A Part of Learning and Other Slightly De-motivating Thoughts

By on 11/06/2009 in Remy Gervais - Pro Photography Dream

My big dream for 2010 is to have a photography showing in a local gallery.  I realize that this goal is something that will require me to break many comfort zones I have around my photos and the inevitable comparison to other artists.

So I try to focus on the positive – er – more comfortable recent gains.

understanding-exposure photography bookThis dream of being a renowned photographer has many little dreams propping it up.  One thing I accomplished in 2009 is creating a Meet-up Group  for photographers of all levels to get together for practice .

It’s my job as the group’s organizer to seek out events and local photo opportunities for us.

This past month, we met at a Santa Rosa California high school football game.  It had all the ingredients for a great challenge:

  • Cold night
  • Crowded sidelines
  • Really strong – wicked lighting
  • Moving targets – players, refs, cheerleaders and fans.

Before the game started we all sat on the track as a group, talked about settings and angles, how to pan and shoot –  all great ideas, everyone nodding, ‘yeah,’ and ‘great idea.’

After the first quarter it was obvious that I had no idea what I was doing. Most of my images were blurry and had somewhat of a blue hue to them.

I started playing with the settings -

  • white balance
  • aperture
  • different lenses

Nothing was really working – and before I knew it the game was over.

At home I looked at them, and became more depressed.

cn19

For the first time in a while, at least when it comes to photography, I felt really insecure and stupid.

For as long as I can remember, photography has been something just for me.  Now that I’m branching out and finding ways of ‘being seen’ I’m hyper aware of how things look and where the flaws are.

And sometimes, the feeling of insecurity is so overwhelming it becomes de-motivating.

I don’t even want to think about my gallery showing goal.

After a weekend of reflection, I began to climb out of this funk and asked myself,  what is the opportunity here?

I realized that in order for me to get over myself, I have to finally commit to learning the technical aspects of photography.

I mean, really learn it.

Not just reference the Olympus manual when I get stuck, but to learn what the camera does, and how to make it do more than I know now.  I’ve gotten this far with great equipment, ‘safe’ subjects and my eye for what makes a good shot.

I wonder what the images will look like when I actually know what I’m doing technically.

I’m Googling for photography instruction classes as you read this . . .

Until next photo,

Rem

(Remy’s dream is creating opportunities for photography showings and public displays of her work and to ultimately be recognized nationally as a photographer … then the world.)

DREAM GOAL:  TO HAVE A GALLERY SHOWING OF HER BEST PHOTOGRAPHS


Remy’s dream is creating opportunities for photography showings and public displays of her work and to ultimately be recognized nationally as a respected photographer . . . then the world. Remy is CEO of Cornerstone Creative, a business consulting practice in Northern California. Remy’s post day is Wednesday. +Remy Gervais

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  • Heather, the e-commerce builder

    Ahh… these learning processes. I always have that initial attack of what in the programming world is called “impostor syndrome” – that lovely feeling that I am a complete idiot.

    You are not alone… and you have lots of resources! Ray is always willing to help! I’m putting a tech photo class on his list… because I can.

  • Remy G

    Teeco! HA and to remember to put on Deodorant and brush their teeth without a reminder!

  • http://tcspeaks.wordpress.com/ Teeco

    I think it’s an interesting action shot. I didn’t know that teenagers actually leave the ground when they move. Here’s living proof, that with the right motivation they can levitate. Now if we could only get them to use that to clean their rooms and pick up their wet towels from the floor.

  • Kim, the traveler

    I like how the number 17 is crisp and then it blurs out. It’s interesting and really puts the focus on him. The finger can easily be cropped out, or add whimsy, so I think it’s a great picture! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  • Remy G

    Thanks Rachel for your links…and to the 3 of you for reminding me of what to keep in mind. I do like to get better, or improve my knowledge in something, and photography is certainly in that category. This photo is one of the better “bad”ones from that night…dare I put up the worst one lol. I’ll keep you all updated on what i find out…and until then…again, thank you ladies. You are all very thoughtful… Rem

  • Rachel

    I fully agree with Lisa’s comment about comparing yourself. I saw a pretty good article about that here: (warning, annoying pop-ups)
    http://digital-photography-school.com/how-to-be-inspired-and-not-intimidated-by-other-photographers

    And she’s also right about the good in that picture. The composition is nice — you captured a moment — and the light and color look great. It sounded like that was what you were working on — getting good color despite the (sodium vapor?) lights. One thing I notice about Jeff’s non-daylight action photos is that they are usually a bit dark. I can see that he has to find a balance between letting in enough light for a decent picture, and getting the shutter speed fast enough for some clarity with a moving subject. It’s taken him a lot of practice to find that place, and it still doesn’t always come out just right. But the improvement from his earlier work to his recent work is something great to see.

  • Catherine, Site Admin

    Rachel you are so great to us on this blog. I went and checked out your husbands blog too – great stuff.

  • http://www.lisamagiccarpetride.blogspot.com Lisa

    oh and just one more thought :-) (have to remind myself of this one often!!!).

    Comparison is a game we always lose, period. There will ALWAYS be someone better, younger, thinner, etc. (AND someone less successful, older, less attractive… or whatever). There will always be more talented or technically skilled artists out there. There will always be people who we can judge as “better” or “worse” than ourselves.

    And you know what? SO WHAT!!! Because there is only one YOU Remy and only you can put the images out there in the world that call to YOUR heart and share YOUR vision of beauty. Period.

    As William Faulkner once said, try to be better than YOURSELF. The real competition is only, ever, with ourselves… Are we pushing ourselves to become all that we dream of becoming? Will we be happy in the end with our lives and what we did (or tried to do!) and have no regrets?

    That is what matters… There is no real failure – the only failure is not trying.

    So – give it your all and know that when your photography show is up people will appreciate YOUR unique talent and view onto the world. Trust in that. :-)

    xo
    L

  • http://www.lisamagiccarpetride.blogspot.com Lisa

    Besides I actually think your football action shot was kind of cool! Who says action shots “have” to look a certain way? there is a beauty in that shot too.

    Also, I was typing so fast that I made a few typos. Meant to say “leap” and the “woman” I want to become. See, making mistakes as I go ;) and still out here living my dreams out loud!

    xo
    L

  • http://www.lisamagiccarpetride.blogspot.com Lisa

    Wow, great dance photos. Thanks for sharing these Rachel! (And the blog link for Remy to learn more/start a discussion of her own…)

    Remy I am totally cheering you on!!! We ALL have a lot to learn as we live our dreams. I’m proud of you for committing to it! And who knows like Cath said you may decide “action shots are not your thing” but in the interim I think it’s really great that you are willing to learn more about it. To increase your own skill level, and thus your odds of landing great shots, anywhere! :-)

    It is SCARY to put ourselves out there. What if we are not “good enough”?? At the same time we cannot grow if we shirk from challenges, right? Putting myself out there on this blog every week was a leap for me. Writing my first book is definitely a leap for me! (I’ve only ever published much shorter pieces – essays, articles – up until now). Some of my recent public speaking – telling my own personal story! – was a lead for me.

    It’s all challenging me to be more than I was before, to grow into the women I want to become. And THAT is awesome – even if uncomfortable sometimes.

    YOU CAN DO IT!

    xo
    L

  • Rachel

    You’re right — it’s a learning opportunity. You picked a really difficult challenge (action shots under weird lighting), and it pointed out that there are times where you could use more tech knowledge.

    But good for you that haven’t forgot what you’re good at. Technical stuff you can learn, and that part’s maybe boring, but pretty straight forward. The stuff you’re already good at is the hard part.

    My husband has spent a lot of effort learning those tricky technical details, and sometimes he likes to talk about it. I don’t know if there’s much difference between his equipment, and yours, but I’ll bet he’d welcome a comment on his blog asking photography questions.
    http://jeffsuddethphoto.wordpress.com/

    He’s done some really good work with action photos, and worked with a lot of weird/difficult lighting conditions. I don’t see any of his football photos easily available, but this is a nice example of a similar challenge:
    http://www.smugmug.com/gallery/6894191_2mjro/1/441067376_8sQDS#441067376_8sQDS

  • Catherine, Site Admin

    You could also have a photography blog like the photo editor here: http://www.aphotoeditor.com and talk about the process . . .

    Ummm there is such a thing as natural talent so don’t be so hard on yourself. And maybe shooting sports events is not your thing?