Funny motivational speaker takes you through a tale of love gone bad…
We have enough stories about sweet sappy couples whose love gets them through the tough times. So for today I’m going to share a little love humor for those of us who think Valentine’s Day is for the birds.
Crazy Jenks Leaves His Wife
Another funny Prides Hollow moment by Kelly Swanson
Did you hear that Crazy Jenks left his wife? Yep, left her on a Saturday morning before the 10 am Jeopardy. Beula May comes home from the grocery store, her arms all loaded up, and sees his reclining chair. You know the one – the brown corduroy recliner where the seat has molded in the shape of Crazy Jenks’ butt.
Only this time it’s empty.
All that was in it was this note that said, I’m gone. Won’t be back. Jenks.
Well, Praise the Lord, said Beula May, and finished putting up the groceries. Pulled out that bottle of sparkling apple cider she’d been saving for a special occasion and made her an appointment to have her roots done and her corns buffed.
Apparently, Jenks had taken up with some overly painted up red-headed hussy with implants who’d come traveling through town with the carnival. Made sense it would be a stranger. Wasn’t a woman in town dumb enough to take up with Crazy Jenks.
That hussy stole that man right out from under Beula May’s nose, bless her heart.
And then three days later had the nerve to bring him back. Dumped him on the side of the road like he was day-old trash. I guess true love couldn’t stand the test of time, and back-to-back episodes of Jeopardy with Jenks sitting in his boxers clutching the remote and yelling out the wrong answers.
Yep, that hussy stole that man right out from under her nose and had the nerve to bring him back for a refund.
Only thing is, at Beula May’s, all sales are final.
That was obvious by the burned up reclining chair sitting out on the front curb. Fact that the locks were changed was another pretty good sign. Now Jenks has got him a room behind Ray Jean’s Diner ’til he can get enough money together to get his own place, or find another woman to take up with.
Hard to say what’s gonna’ happen first.
Happy Valentine’s Day, dreamers of the world!
Latest posts by Kelly Swanson, Do Public Speaking (see all)
- One Easy Way To Get More Professional Speaking Gigs - 09/23/2016