From Zero to Book Published: 8 Women Dream Style

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Rayne Wolfe

Self-Employed Freelance Journalist
Rayne's dream was to write her memoir and found a global support community for adult children of toxic mothers. This summer she completed her book, which inclues her story of growing up with not one, but two super toxic mothers as well as a mosiac of mini-memoirs of women from all over the world who have created happy and peaceful lives despite toxic parenting. Her book, Toxic Mom Toolkit, is published on and Create Space. Her Facebook page Toxic Mom Toolkit, attracts over 250,000 per month and is a safe place to read or tell healing stories, exchange positive strategies on how to live with toxic parenting and lots of humor and resources. A freelance journalist, she currently writes a food & drink page for several Bay Area newspapers and is a private writing coach.

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From Zero to Book Published: 8 Women Dream Style: Buy Toxic Mom Toolkit by Rayne WolfeBy Rayne Wolfe

In 2009, I was a reporter working for a New York Times regional newspaper in Northern California’s Wine Country. With ten years of daily news-gathering under my belt, I had survived multiple rounds of brutal lay-offs and the stress was getting to me.

I thought it might be time to take a break before I broke.

With my husband’s support, I left my job to write my memoir about growing up with three mothers: two very toxic, and one wonderful stepmother. I had a notion that I knew a lot about resilience and I could help others. I had also been collecting women’s stories for years, focusing on how they survived their own very toxic mothers.

I was aware that I should build a platform to support my book writing and research led me to 8 Women Dream and Lord-have-mercy they were coincidentally looking for a new blogger to join their slate of online dreamers. I slaved over my presentation; agonized over my story and plans — and dreams!

And after a considered vetting process I was turned down with apologies and encouragement to try again.

The Universe Gives You What You Need When You Need It

It was the most important turn down of my life. I believed what they said: That they loved my project. That they wished me well. That they wanted me to apply again.

That “rejection” fueled my early work. Not in an I’ll-show-them sort of way, but more in a Wait-till-they-see-this! way. I created a Toxic Mom Toolkit Facebook page, which I grew from 35 friends to currently over 250,000 visitors per month.

By the time it was possible to apply to be on 8 Women Dream again, I had much more to talk about and was deep into the creative process. Finally accepted as a member of 8 Women Dream, I wrote about my dream of publishing my first book.

From the platform of 8 Women Dream I found and interviewed hundreds of women from all over the world. I curated extensive Toxic Mom Toolkit questionnaires developing them into a wide range of mini-memoirs. Every person I spoke to increased and informed my work and made it richer.

I realized that writing my own memoir was nice, but what would be epic would be to marry my story with a rainbow of stories, each illustrating a different type of toxic mom. And, after my year at 8 Women Dream was up, I was fueled to tackle the hard work of editing, polishing and publishing my manuscript.

Women had trusted me with their stories and told me amazing things; things they had never told another living soul. They laughed and cried with me. They also encouraged me. I remember one lady in particular saying that each morning while she was driving she prayed for my book. For three years of writing, which included many challenges, the idea of a lady on the freeway praying for my book, kept me focused.From Zero to Book Published: 8 Women Dream Style - Toxic Mom Toolkit back cover

Starting from a broken place, with lots of help, I am now healed and an author. Along the way I’ve learned that it is in sharing our stories that we heal others.

Toxic Mom Toolkit is available on Create Space and, thanks in large part to the energy and encouragement I received from everyone at 8 Women Dream and all the people I met during my online tenure.

What I find very poignant is that my book owes so much to 8 Women Dream – literally. It seemed that as each obstacle arose – one of my friends from 8 Women Dream popped up with offers of help and encouragement.

I have 8 Women Dream blogging colleagues Iman Woods to thank for creating a killer book cover and Remy Gervais to thank for taking my “sane and approachable” head shot.

It would have been great to write my memoir.

But I’m so glad I opened myself up to the energy and creativity of the 8 Women Dream community. When readers hold a copy of Toxic Mom Toolkit in their hands, they may not know the story behind it.

But we will. We will.


To connect with Rayne personally, please visit her at Toxic Mom Toolkit on Facebook or at her website,


Buy Toxic Mom Toolkit on Create Space

Buy Toxic Mom Toolkit on

  • I am so excited to see this happen for you Rayne! Your hard work is officially in print!! It seems like yesterday when we first met, and I’ve loved reading your story and watching it unfold on 8 Women Dream. Thank you for sharing and making it alright to admit that we can survive a toxic mother. Congratulations!

  • kellyswanson1

    Wahoo! It so inspiring to see another woman reach her dream. It gives us all the encouragement we need to keep going! Thanks for sharing! And congratulations on your “new baby.”

  • ImanWoods

    Rayne, I am inspired by your Facebook page daily. I love the humor of your personal posts. I can’t wait to read this. It was amazing collaborating with you to create the cover and I love the photo Remy did for your author headshot. AUTHOR HEADSHOT! You’re a published author! I can’t imagine how many live you’ve already touched and how many there are to come. So proud to call you my 8WD sister and friend.

  • All the dreamers are behind you Rayne! Congratulations on a dream come true!!

  • This is wonderful beyond measure. I will never forget that day at Heather’s dining room table where you told us your dream plan. You did this so completely right that I am going to use you as my example story for how working a dream with 8 Women Dream works and all the steps and accomplishments you did so right to make this happen. Congratulations – this is so wonderful!


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