How Love Ourselves Completely To Live Our Dreams

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Lisa is a freelance writer, consultant and life coach. She has her BA in English and Creative Writing from Princeton and her MPA from Harvard. Lisa recently finished the first draft of her book manuscript, Burning Down the House. Her dream is to publish this first book and teach the world how to discover their hidden joy. Her post day is Tuesday.
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Love Ourselves Completely To Live Our Dreams

Many many moons ago, back when I was a very little girl, I first birthed the dream of being a “famous author.” I always knew somewhere deep in my heart and soul that I would write books someday.

Thanks in large part to the support of the amazing team at 8womendream and my writing coach Ellen Sussman, I finished the first massive tome that was draft one of my book, Burning Down the House.

It is still in process and remains the “big dream” along with the many other book ideas I have dreamt up since then.

Lessons Learned! 

Throughout my life, as I have pursued and lived various dreams, I have had moments of complete confidence, and moments of doubt and fear. I have stayed the course with some dreams and seen them through to completion, taking all the steps I needed to take along the way, and seeing the finished vision in my mind ahead of time, then realizing that vision through a combination of work, passion and love.

Some dreams have remained just that – dreams – not manifested yet in form in the material world.

I’ve been thinking lately about what separates the dreams I have realized from those I haven’t (yet!), and how I am my best friend and worst enemy as well when it comes to living my dreams.

You Have to Believe It to See It

Countless research studies have proven the power of visualization to live our dreams.

Visualization is an often-taught mental rehearsal technique in sports. It is an extremely powerful tool and numerous studies have been done to test this.

You may have heard of this basketball study or a different one with similar results.

A study conducted by Dr. Blaslotto at the University of Chicago was done where he split people into three groups and tested each group on how many free throws they could make.

After this, he had the first group practice free throws every day for an hour. The second group just visualized themselves making free throws. The third group did nothing. After 30 days, he tested them again. The first group improved by 24%.

The second group improved by 23% without touching a basketball!

The third group did not improve which was expected.

If you can see it clearly in your mind, you can achieve it…

Believing in Yourself!

Often when talking about dreams, we hear or talk about believing in ourselves and our own capabilities, which of course also is part of what enables us to live our dreams.

There have been times when I’ve pushed dream success away by not being ready to receive – not believing I was worthy! This, of course, is ridiculous, because we are all divinely created (I believe!) just as we were meant to be, and we are the only ones who can express our own unique gifts and qualities on this planet.

It’s important to do whatever it takes to grow in self-love and trust. Any of the following can help:

  1. Using affirmations to retrain our brains to think positive thoughts about ourselves.
  2. Doing “mirror work,” as Louise Hay calls it, which is saying positive things to ourselves while looking in the mirror.
  3. Taking good care of ourselves, and not just attending to the needs of others.
  4. Pampering ourselves sometimes to make ourselves feel “special.”
  5. Acknowledging our accomplishments and successes, rather than just focusing on what we haven’t done (yet!).
  6. For me it also means being willing to accept my strengths and my weaknesses, and to love myself even when I fall down. It’s all part of the journey…

Living Our Purpose

Also, as I’ve achieved various dreams over the years, I have found that when I am committed completely to a vision and passionate about it, and trusting in the Universe, it all flows somehow, and I worry less about whether I can do it. The energy and resources and everything I need come to me, naturally, as part of the process.

In this state, synchronicity and miracles happen… Life flows. And when I’m feeling passionate and creative, the sky is the limit!

The key is to remember to love myself at all times and to push forward with the dreams, even in those times when not feeling inspired… knowing that doing the work is what matters, and that our biggest dreams will manifest over time if we sustain the belief, do our best, and hand the rest over to the universe (as I like to say when writing down visions I want to achieve, “This or something better, dear Universe!”).

It helps me to trust that whatever comes and manifests is for my highest good.

Keep dreaming big dreamers and love yourselves, no matter what!
  • Cath

    “Acknowledging our accomplishments and successes, rather than just focusing on what we haven’t done.” is such great advice.  I also like this quote from Olympic athlete, Allyson Felix, a women runner, “I am a big believer in visualization. I run through my races mentally so that I feel even more prepared” which supports your theory on visualization.  I always do better on tests and interviews where I visualize the outcome beforehand.  I can’t wait to hear about Montana :)

  • sean

    Except no one can find that doctor.

    From Skeptics Stack Exchange:

    “The University of Chicago’s librarians, when the topic came up, could find no trace of a “Dr Blaslotto”.

    From the outset the Suggestions Office thought this story a little
    fishy. (A U of C faculty member who’s also a world-class power-lifter?)
    Indeed, trolling through PubMed, Web of Science, and WorldCat revealed
    no articles or books by Dr. Blaslotto — leaving us doubtful he even

    (another variation of this story adds the claim that he’s a world-class power-lifter)

    Peculiarly for a world-class power-lifter or a researcher, there seems
    to be no mention of a Dr Blaslotto on Google except in this story.
    There are no results for Judd Blaslotto or Dr. Blaslotto on Google Scholar. It does appear that Dr Blaslotto and his study are about as real as the hoops that his second group dunked.

    On the other hand, the University of Chicago’s librarians do point out another study, from 1960, which does exist, with similar results:

    The effect of mental practice was compared with that of physical
    practice in the development of a motor skill, the Pacific Coast 1-hand
    foul shot. 144 high school boys were equated into physical and mental
    practice groups on the basis of arm strength; intelligence; and varsity,
    junior varsity, or novice experience. Mental practice was found to be
    nearly as effective as physical practice under the conditions of the

    A 1994 meta-analysis of 35 studies found that mental practice was effective, but not as good as physical practice:

    First, the results of this analysis indicate that mental practice
    is an effective means for enhancing performance. However, the data also
    indicate that mental practice is less effective than overt, physical

    And also dropped off faster:

    A 1995 study found that adding mental practice into firearm training for police recruits was effective:

    The treatment group mean marksmanship gain score was 32.86 points above the control group’s score.

    Interestingly enough, they also found that recruits who believed that
    mental practice would help benefited the most from it (possibly because
    the worked harder at it).

    So, it looks like mental practice does improve performance, though not as much as physical practice.