The Genius Diet: 10 Weeks to Tame My Inner Eating Idiot

Rayne and the genius diet

Everybody knows how to lose weight. You eat less. You move more. The bathroom scale digits tell you — you’ve won. At least for a while.

Because I’m SUCH a genius and know the foolproof formula for losing weight, I’ve managed to gain at least five pounds a year for the past ten years, punctuated by extreme diet losses of up to 20-lbs that all eventually found the way back to my hips.

The Genius Diet - Road TripWhen I worked in a newsroom we joked there are one bag of Cheetos’s stories and there are three bags of Cheetos’s stories — all washed down with Diet Coke.

When I was covering breaking news, by the weekend it was time to let my hair down and enjoy a few beers, or seven.

And meal planning? M-E-A-L planning?

Doesn’t that sound like something Aunt Bea worries about?  Certainly Aunt Bea made lists of seasonal fruits and vegetables to combine and cook and place next to roasted chicken or lean meat or even — that smelly stuff — fish!

You’re supposed to eat fish, right?

But not me. I was too busy. I was also usually too shaky from not eating properly to give any thought to where my next meal was coming from. Actually, I was regularly pretty light-headed most of the time and certainly too busy to plan a week’s worth of shopping, chopping and actually eating.

So, six weeks ago, while I was minding my own business at my very nice health club, (the club I think of as a great place to use the bathroom while shoe shopping), I saw a sign-up table for new groups forming. What caught my attention was a one-hour ‘Meet the Nutritionist’ opportunity. A free one-hour Meet the Nutritionist opportunity.

Little did I know that by simply writing my name on that blank form I would actually come face-to-face with my diet demons.  It was the first I actually thought about what I eat and why.

Because I’m such a GENIUS, after the free meeting I didn’t sign up for any help or counseling. I figured, it’s worth a story and instead of facing the personal work I needed to do; I wrote a story about my future nutritionist — blowing my fee on stockpiling movie candy.

But something about The Bossy Nutritionist got me thinking. What WAS up with the way I ate? I can’t even say, “fed myself” because I wasn’t ever feeding myself. I was eternally serving snacks.

Genius Diet - old lunchI had been running on French fry fumes my whole life.

Why was I eating like a five-year-old at a cocktail party? Why did I love that Sunday evening sound of big dinner plates clacking when I pulled them down but hate the idea of eating anything nutritious ON a big dinner plate?

Coincidentally, in mid-June I woke up one day and stopped drinking Diet Coke, which had been my coffee, my milk, and my water for nearly 40 years.

It seemed like I was ready to surrender my bad habits, illogical behavior and insatiable desire for Lay’s Barbecue potato chips.

But I couldn’t do it alone. I needed a wingman and The Bossy Nutritionist was up for the challenge.

Coming up next Sunday: Why Chocolate Doesn’t Fill You Up

Rayne Wolfe is a former New York Times regional newspaper reporter, a past 8womendream.com contributor and hosts Toxic Mom Toolkit on Facebook, a community for women who have grown up sane and happy despite toxic parenting.

You can reach her at newsyrayne@gmail.com.

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Rayne's dream was to write her memoir and found a global support community for adult children of toxic mothers. This summer she completed her book, which inclues her story of growing up with not one, but two super toxic mothers as well as a mosiac of mini-memoirs of women from all over the world who have created happy and peaceful lives despite toxic parenting. Her book, Toxic Mom Toolkit, is published on Amazon.com and Create Space. Her Facebook page Toxic Mom Toolkit, attracts over 250,000 per month and is a safe place to read or tell healing stories, exchange positive strategies on how to live with toxic parenting and lots of humor and resources. A freelance journalist, she currently writes a food & drink page for several Bay Area newspapers and is a private writing coach.

Latest posts by Rayne Wolfe, Published Author and Journalist (see all)

  • Betsy

    What a relief to find someone who actually knows precisely what I eat like. You definitely know the way to bring the issue of how we eat to light and have us feel okay with it. More people need to learn this and understand this from side from the story. Thank you.

  • Heather Montgomery, Product Launch Dreams

    Little meals – snacks! OK.. I have a reminder on my phone that pops up like a meeting 5 times every day. Works for me for now!

    Looking forward to your progress and story – H

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  • Rayne

    Yep! Not eating is one of my big problems too! Were going to cover that!

  • Love this and I am going through the same thing.

    I am about to go public. I think we discussed this.

    My weakness is actually not eating. Heather is always on me for this. I’ve completely shut my metabolism down. This idea of eating something every two hours exhausts me.

    I look forward to following your lead.

    Cath