Be Brave And Define Your Dream

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Rayne Wolfe

Self-Employed Freelance Journalist
Rayne's dream was to write her memoir and found a global support community for adult children of toxic mothers. This summer she completed her book, which inclues her story of growing up with not one, but two super toxic mothers as well as a mosiac of mini-memoirs of women from all over the world who have created happy and peaceful lives despite toxic parenting. Her book, Toxic Mom Toolkit, is published on and Create Space. Her Facebook page Toxic Mom Toolkit, attracts over 250,000 per month and is a safe place to read or tell healing stories, exchange positive strategies on how to live with toxic parenting and lots of humor and resources. A freelance journalist, she currently writes a food & drink page for several Bay Area newspapers and is a private writing coach.

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Be Brave And Define Your Dream - Toxic Mom toolkit back cover BUY THE BOOK BY CLICKING ON IMAGEWhen I defined my dream topic for this first book on toxic mothers and how to survive them — I was poised to pursue my dream.

I view myself as pretty brave but this past year I really embrace bravery.  Leaving my newspaper job was scary enough. Learning to trust myself, my husband and the universe was part of the most difficult and ultimately rewarding journey of my adult life.

Accepting that I was doing what was right for me was a big epiphany.

Of course, I had doubts. I remember wondering what former colleagues and co-workers thought. To some, I was weird to begin with. Were they having fun poking fun at my efforts? Was I too obsessed with my childhood? Was I propping myself as an expert on a non-topic? Was I inventing a passion to have something to do?

The chatter raged in my brain.

But eventually, it died down. I allowed myself space for quiet contemplation. I went back and studied my life, the life of my parents and relations and I wrote about it.  I already possessed courage. Now I was ready to tell readers why.

That I signed up to share my dream journey for a year on 8WomenDream and wrote my little heart out, which is pretty astounding to me now. I found my focus early on and I trusted that people got it.

I think forgetting about what others think is crucial to pursuing your true dream.

I thought of my book as a wonderful life form that needed me as its midwife. On days when it was too hard I worked anyway on blind faith. If I had to tell myself I could have chocolate afterwards, that was okay. I’m sure plenty of surgeons imagine cocktails or golf or other rewards waiting for them when the nurses take over the suturing.

As I racked up chapters, I taught myself to embrace the work joyfully even if I’d rather be doing anything else.

When I started, the last thing I ever thought I’d consider is changing my working title to “Toxic Mom Toolkit.” But that’s exactly what I’m thinking of because my readers have become such a big part of my story.

Yep. It’s been quite a journey. I’ve learned to value my dreams, make room for them, and commit time and energy to them without apologies.

And if the kitchen floor looks bad, well… so what?

Looking back what do I think is the best reason to define a dream?

So you’ll know when you’ve finished it.


Toxic Mom Toolkit - the book - by Rayne Wolfe

Click here and buy the book!

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  • I have loved, loved watching your journey and am so grateful you wanted to write with me. I have learned so much by watching you. I appreciate your kind advice and your willingness to share your writing thoughts and your deepest wounds.

    We are all better for knowing you. Those people who thought you were alien are crazy. i’m with Carole on this.

    We love you Rayne.


  • Rayne – you’ve taken us on quite the journey with you and been more brave than I could imagine if I was in your place. Such a great story!

    Thanks as always – H

  • its not a bad thing Rayne. Your journey has been amazing. I cant wait to see what is next! ox Rem

  • Rayne

    Thank you Carole! I always feel like the alien life form. I never see things the way most folks do. I think way to much and give way too much space to all sorts of emotional possibilities. But maybe that’s not always a bad thing.

  • Carole

    “Some, I was weird to begin with.”
    If this is the case then we need more ‘weird’ in this world.