What Happens When Old Memoir Dreams Inspire New Memoir Dream Ideas

Rayne Wolfe inspiring new dreamsWhy does the idea of old dreams inspiring new dreams surprise me every darned time?

This is how it goes. You are focused on a dream project — whether it a passion, or a research project, or whatever, and you commit to do the work, you burn the shoe leather and you are proud of the progress you’re making.

And then you have lunch with a friend and suddenly their take on your memoir-writing dream project is quickly summarized into an obvious fact or compelling next step that you never thought of before despite all the effort and focus you’ve devoted to the effort.

For example…

My friend Jen the teacher and I were having brunch at our favorite patio place in Sonoma and (bless her) she wanted to know all about what my trip to Iowa would entail, so we chatted, laughed, and debated what to pack. I thought my best bet would be to blend in with the grey-haired Lutheran landscape by leaving the red polka dot platform espadrilles and liquor tag necklaces at home. She insisted that I have to be my authentic self.

Then before I could say Eggs Benedict SHE was focused on my NEXT trip to Oklahoma to meet my birth mother, or as Jen insists on calling her “the vagina” to distinguish her from my adoptive mother and step-mother.

“Rayne, talking about your mothers is SO confusing sometimes,” she said insisting that her pseudo-medical nickname for my birth mother would at least eliminate one opportunity for confusion in future discussions.

What Jen didn’t realize was that I had already considered visiting my mother, which would take me to a state even less likely to charm me than Iowa. Truth be told, from what I know of my mother, from the couple of conversations, the few letters exchanged, I don’t really care to meet her. That decision made me feel very grown up, as a matter of fact.

And yet…

Jen insists that it’s really a Bucket List item. A must do.

“Rayne, you came outta’ her!” she said as the Wine County sun warmed our golden shoulders. “I’ll go with you. A one-day shot there and back. I’ll be your videographer!”

Rayne Wolfe dreaming in Aubergine 80's(FYI: When Jen wants to fly with you and film you doing something weird, that sort of proves it’s a bad idea… And part of why we’re best friends.)

This might be an example of one dream leading the way to the next dream. If I decide that being rejected to my face on a sagging porch in Oklahoma is a great good time — even with Jen as videographer and every bar within 10 miles coded into our Tom-Tom — I’ll get back to you ‘all.

Right now, I’m thinking probably not.

But who knows?

That’s the thing about following your dreams. If you’re brave enough to think it, say it out loud, own it, pursue it, write about it and invite others along with you on the journey, then you have to stay open to new dreams. Who knows? Maybe Jen’s idea will begin to sound logical.

But first, I’m off to Iowa, the land that gave us newsman Harry Reasoner, ethanol and the one and only Rayne Wolfe.

Rayne Wolfe’s dream is to write her first book Confessions of an Undutiful Daughter by the end of 2011. She completed her dream journey May of 2011 on 8WD after a year living her dream. You can find her at Toxic Mom Toolkit on Facebook.

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  • Erin

    My friends have helped me with my small business by asking their family to give my service a try, telling 5 people about what I do and asking those 5 people to tell 5 more, sent emails to their contacts about me and discussed em on Facebook, put my business cars on display at their businesses along with carrying my business cards and handing them out. All things I would have never thought to ask but they were so determined to see me be a success.

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  • Janice Rosenberg

    Rayne, I am Janice Rosenberg and I live in Des Moines, Iowa. I was born in San Fransisco to a young woman who was living at the Florence Crittiden home until she could have me and give me up for adoption. I am your friend, Crista J. the photojournalist, cousin. I found my birthmother, Crista’s aunt about 7 years ago.

    I would love to meet you when you come to Des Moines, if you are interested. We could go out for a drink or whatever. Wear you red shoes and liqour tags here. We are a very progressive and well educated state. We did launch President Obama to the White House after all. If you are going rural, you could run into anything…much like CA,. Anyway, you have Iowa wrong, but I am not offended….I would love to show you around.

    If you need help, directions, a place to stay, contact Crista or myself and I will try and help.

    • Janice,

      I must apologize for the delay in the appearance of your wonderful post comment — it went straight into moderation for some oddball reason that I can’t fathom. But here it is, and thank you for your comment!

      Catherine

    • Hi Janice!
      I just arrived in Iowa and I have you on my list to call. I really appreciate your willingness to connect and I’ll do my best to carve out some Des Moines time. Probably the best time will be next Wed. or Thursday a.m. before I head to the airport. Would that work for you?

  • Remy G

    you would be a bright light over there. people would look at you as you walked down the street, thinking “that has to be someone famous…who is that woman” – you just have that air about you.
    take jen, cause if you dont, I may have to tag along with my cameras! xox Rem

  • Love the photos and the friend who wants to film you.

    I think it could be very powerful for you and your followers if you filmed that journey. If the idea scares you . . . you know what that means . . .

    I love this: “I thought my best bet would be to blend in with the grey-haired Lutheran landscape by leaving the red polka dot platform espadrilles and liquor tag necklaces at home.”

    My step-grandma was from that region – along with my dad’s family — they would have loved you, so I am sure you will do fine!

    Cath