When Photography Love Diminishes: Schedule a Check Up

photography inspiration in baby photos

It wasn’t long after my 40th birthday that I was in the doctor’s office for my annual check up.

Sitting there in that all-too-sexy backless gown, we had the typical small talk about my low blood pressure, plateaued weight loss efforts, lingering emotional depression and lower back stress.

Basic stuff.

Normally I can’t wait to get out of there – but in honor of my birthday, I hit him with this –

Doctor, sometimes I feel like I could care less about sex – since my divorce it’s the farthest thing from my mind — I have absolutely no intimacy feelings at all. Will I ever get that back? I mean – is that normal?

His response?

Yeah, that’s normal. But the mistake you can make is thinking that the intimacy feelings will automatically show up for you before you want to have sex. You have to approach it the opposite way. The more sex you have, the more times you can orgasm, the more intimate you will feel and then your libido will bounce back — (he pauses to check my age) Yeah, don’t worry about it – you’re still somewhat young.”

So while he’s updating my chart, my own inner-dialog starts:

More orgasms? Uh, right – how’s that gonna happen? I’m divorced. I may never have sex again! Oh my God – what if I forget how to do…that?”

And like he was right there inside my mind – without looking up from my chart, he says

So you want me to leave you alone here the room for about 10 minutes? I can turn the lights down if that helps…”

Flash forward a few years. I’m still “somewhat young.”

And a few months ago, I started to feel like I could care less if I ever picked up my camera again. It was the farthest thing from my mind. I couldn’t get excited about. I didn’t want shoot anything, or research any events for my meet-up photo group.

I realized my photography libido was gone.

I panicked a little bit. Is this just me? Does it happen to other people? How was I gonna get that feeling back?

I tried abstinence.

Thinking that ‘absence will make the heart grow fonder’ I literally put the camera down on purpose, vowing not to use it until I felt excited about it again. Maybe if I left my camera alone for a while would it create some sort of craving for it – like

“My God I cant believe how much I missed this!”

A month later, I still felt disconnected and uninspired. I worried that maybe my love for photography was gone. It was the strangest, loneliest feeling I’ve ever had.

Come to find out I was approaching this all wrong.

What I should have done was kept my camera with me as much as possible. Schedule more meetup events for the group. Push myself to take photos even if I didn’t feel like it – knowing now (thanks to the Doc) that the more I did, the more I would want to do.

Thanks to a good friend and fellow photographer, Alison Fraser, I got to go along with her last weekend to a baby photo shoot. I was able to help her out, try something new and most importantly – get the camera back in my hands, creating images again.

The strategy worked. It was fun, exciting and just a little unnerving – and the photography libido is back.

On the path towards your photography dreams it may be natural to lose excitement every once in a while. DON’T panic!

Have faith that you are on track, take a little break from it if you have to but get the camera back in your hands as soon as possible.

Until next photo,

Rem

Remy’s dream is creating opportunities for photography showings and public displays of her work.

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  • Heather Montgomery, CEO & serial entrepreneur

    Rem – I love the discussion with your doctor – I’ll have to remember that advice!

    I did notice something for myself to kick my desire into drive, for dreaming or anything else, was on the treadmill. Once I add cardio back in my life, everything kicks into gear..

    Here’s to continuing to build passion for whatever we want – H

  • Catherine Hughes, Editor & Chief

    I love the book, Fruitflesh: Seeds of Inspiration for Women Who Write by Gayle Brandeis for writing inspiration and I can’t find it!! My friend KB gave it to me as a gift and it is my most prized possession for creativity, listening to movie scores is a distant second.

    I keep hoping i”ll stumble across the book when I am cleaning, but so far I haven’t found it. pretty soon I am going to have to go out to Amazon and find it and order it again. It just won’t be as special since KB purchased it to encourage me to write more. She gives the best gifts!

    Cath

    • Remy, Photographer & CEO of Cornerstone Creative

      Id love to read that next…lemme know when you get your copy! Thanks again for all of your catalyst help these days…xox Rem

  • Pingback: 8 Photography Tips For A Successful Baby Shoot | 8 Women Dream()

  • Katie

    Great analogy, Remi.
    I often feel uninspired with writing and undergo pen abstinence. It’s tough. I’m glad your friend brought you back. Sometimes what you need is that “blind date” with your passion to spark the passion back up. I’ll go to new places to write. It makes me feel daring and courageous. (I’ll even dress up for the occassion!)

    May the sparks continues to fly and the camera always be by your side :)

    • Remy, Photographer & CEO of Cornerstone Creative

      thanks Katie! Nice to know someone else gets it! :) Rem

  • Katie

    Great analogy, Remi.
    I get uninspired by writing sometimes–to the point of pen abstience. I’m glad you’re friend brought you back. Sometimes what you need is a “blind date,” so to speak, with your passion. I’ll go to new places to write. It makes me feel daring and courageous. (I’ll even dress up for the occassion!)
    May the camera be always at your side :)