Have you ever gotten stuck in your own dream progress?
It’s been happening to me a lot lately. So much so that when it came time to write my post this week I had to call for help. On the phone with our head dream blogger Catherine, I blurted out “I got nothing” – so we spent an hour on the phone trying to pull it out of me.
She was gentle and unassuming and guided me with questions. We discussed the ebb and flow of dreaming –- encouraging me to be clear on what I wanted, what I have to do to get there — and after an hour of digging she finally got to where I was stuck.
I know all the stuff I have to do to make my dreams happen – but I’m not actually doing anything.
It’s hard to admit that cause in many circles, I’m known as the “hands-on-get-in-there-and-get-it-done person.” To say that I am stuck and can’t take action feels unnatural and foreign — literally embarrassing.
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
After that hour long talk with Catherine, this is what I know about how I got “here”:
- I know that the cause of my being stuck and living in ‘inaction’ is not due to any kind of fear. Trust me I’m a ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ kind of person.
- I know that the cause of my being stuck is not due to a lack of dreaming. I have great ideas for what I want my year to look like, and am truly excited about the possibilities.
- I know now it’s beyond making lists and setting priorities. It’s much worse.
I have momentarily lost the inspiration for living my dreams in a life of photography.
Have you ever felt disconnected from your dream?
Catherine must have heard my voice crack when I said it out loud, “My God, I feel so disconnected!” because she quickly tried to support me with “Don’t worry, everyone goes through this, it’s a part of the dreaming process, it’s a good thing when it happens… it’s your lizard brain talking which can mean many things…”
But my heart wasn’t buying it.
Just so there’s no confusion — I now officially hate this part of the dreaming process. The truth is, I am not looking for an answer at all. The real issue runs deep, and it has nothing to do with taking pictures or buying a new camera. What it does have to do with is the negative feelings that come up every time I start thinking about my professional photography dream.
Catherine tells me this is natural because in somewhere in this process of working on my dream — it’s gotten my hopes up — again. Now I’m dealing with sadness for all the times I’ve tried working on something I wanted and it didn’t work out. Deep inside of me I’m afraid that I’m going to disappoint myself again -– and that working this through on 8 Women Dream is making me feel like this is just another build-up to nothing and it isn’t going to work either.
Apparently, this is a common feeling that all dreamers must face at some point.
Oddly, negative feelings can also come up when you realize that this time — because of the support system and structure you’ve set in place — your dream really can come true. This brings up another set of emotions masked as sadness. The fairy tale books don’t tell you that when the fairy godmother showed up to make Cinderella’s dream come true Cinderella ran back into the house and hid in a corner crying because her dream opportunity just presented itself and now she really has to go meet her prince.
What do I need to do when dreaming gets like this?
Permission to feel what I feel–- and to be able to say it. Negative emotions come up when you are dreaming and they need to be shared. Either by writing them down, talking with someone, praying — however you can get them out — so the energy can be used to move forward.
Allow yourself to complain, beat the bed with a tennis racket, yell at the sky — then sit down and decide what you are going to do next for your dream. Sometimes it helps if you can listen to a mentor when you are done complaining.
The idea is to complain, then carry on.
One of my favorite mentors is Brian Tracy. In the following video her discuses the 4 steps to overcoming obstacles. Just what I need after complaining to Catherine and being told I am only human –
Those 4 steps in a nutshell are:
- Define the problem clearly
- Determine possible solutions
- Decide what solution you try
- Take action – because any action is better than no action
I’ll be working on cracking that nut this week – to find out where, when and why this disconnect to taking action on my dreams is happening.
Where have you become stuck with your dream progress? What did you do to overcome it?
Until next photo,
Remy
Remy’s dream is creating opportunities for photography showings and public displays of her work and to ultimately be recognized nationally as a respected photographer . . . then the world. Remy is CEO of Cornerstone Creative, a business consulting practice in Northern California. Remy’s post day is Wednesday. +Remy Gervais
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