Social Networks: Can People Over 50 Find Love On Facebook?

Are any of you planning to see the movie, The Social Network with a date this weekend? Do you dream of falling in love again like I do?

As the movie The Social Network begins playing in theaters this weekend, more is becoming public about the reason why Facebook came to be in the first place. Isn’t it interesting that a social network based on sharing your life is very quiet about its life?

While attending Harvard, Mark Zuckerberg wrote Facemash, the predecessor to Facebook. It was created as a University version of Hot or Not – a rating site that allows users to rate the attractiveness of photos of women.

It’s a dating woman’s worst nightmare.

Can you imagine ending up on the “not” list? Who would invent such an awful site?

Facemash has evolved into Facebook, and with such a 19-year-old-ivy-league-I-can’t-respect-you-pretty-girl-not-so-humble beginnings – can it be a place to find dates if you are over 50?

Maybe not.

Can social networks bring two people together? Or is all the mystery and sexiness removed when someone is describing giving themselves having a facial at 10pm on a Saturday night while watching The Princess Bride?

I just cleaned the litter box, now I’m trimming my toenails, while drinking orange juice in my mismatched pjs while the dog farts in the corner . . .”

Is such exposure good for dating?

You might be able to use Facebook to find that you have common interests, hobbies, similar likes and political views. But I’m not so sure that a deep, caring relationship can be built on the fact that we both love dark chocolate on a rainy day, our favorite movie is The Princess Bride and we’ve both “liked” Frank Sinatra.

Do I even want my relationship life to publicly happen on Facebook, where the man I date watches my relationship status, while I watch his to see who changes theirs first? He just Liked everything I did today – does that mean he Likes me, or he’s clicking the Likes on all his friends Walls? He’s online, but hasn’t answered my chat request . . . so does that mean . . . ? . . .

Can you hear that?

It’s me screaming while I run away from Facebook.

I don’t think dating relationships should be so publicly displayed on a social site. I’ve seen the walls of people who have suddenly changed their relationship status from “In a relationship” to “Single” only to see the onslaught of friends posting “What happened?” “Are you okay?”

No I’m not. He just decided to “Like” the “men who want their women to grow underarm hair” fan page and I can’t live with that.

Shudder.

I don’t like telling family and friends in person when a relationship has ended , let alone, answer that awful question in print on my Facebook Wall. Maybe the relationship status should stay private until asked.

Or better yet, maybe I should just be introduced to someone through friends and keep doing what I’ve been doing.

And leave Facebook for my interaction with family and friends. I do plan on enjoying the movie based on the story. Maybe it will explain why Facebook is the way it is.

What do you think?

Have you met someone on Facebook? Have you seen the movie The Social Network?

Veronica

Veronica left 8 Women Dream in December 2010 after successfully completing 2 dreams.

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  • Neally

    I have been single for 12 years, now in my late 50’s I have begun to wonder if I will ever find love again. I have a love of life, am intelligent, well read, dress well & take care of my appearance. I have a wide circle of friends and socialize regularly but I have never in 12 years met a man of my age who was unattached & interested in older women, am sure they are out there but I despair of ever meeting one!!! I love FB, it keeps me in touch with my family & friends, especially as at the moment we are all over the planet. (I am teaching in a college in Malawi as a VSO volunteer , son is in Australia, daughter in London/NY, friends all over!!) Am not sure of FB or any social network site is the place to find love but for anyone who does I wish them well. Where you find your soul mate is irrelevant, as long as you do!! Love this site by the way!

  • Brenda

    Great post! I don’t think FB is a place to meet potential mates. I frequently ask myself if I even need a Facebook page, but like Catherine says it’s a good way to keep in touch with long distance friends and relatives.

    I’m reading a great book (with a HORRIBLE title) that you might want to check out. It’s called “How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You in 90 Minutes…or less” by Nicholas Boothman. It has much more substance than the title reveals, trust me. It’s actually about how to find the perfect person for you personality type based on what it is you need from a partner and relationship.

    Good luck with your search. I’m really interested in how you’re going about finding love after 50. I’ll be “back on the market” soon and hoping you can give me some pointers.

    • Brenda,
      Thank you so much for the heads up on the book, I will be purchasing it and I will bet that you will find it in one of my future blogs.
      I really appreciate any help I can get here.
      Thanks.

      Rayne,
      Catfish….I have never heard of it. Time to watch another good movie.

  • Rayne

    I think the next movie you need to see is “Catfish.” I saw it today and I’ll never think
    of Facebook the same way again. You be careful!!!!

  • Dave

    Veronica,

    I didn’t see the movie. I doubt that I will unless I see it with a date. It’s not the kind of movie I would take a date too….at least not until we have known each other for a while.
    I am on Facebook. It has given me a chance to reconnect with people that I haven’t heard from in 35 years or more. I would think you would want to be on Facebook. Women between the ages of 50 and 55 are the fastest growing segment on Facebook. I would think that a woman would feel safer on Facebook than on a dating site. I have read that people do tend to be more honest on Social Networks than on dating sites. They have to be. Their closest friends are watching them. You can find more out about a guy on his Facebook profile than you can on a dating profile. You can see who his friends are…..both men and women…..and to a degree you can see how he treats them.

    You do have to be careful who you friend. A lot of people just want to have a large list of friends. I won’t confirm any friend request unless we have written a few times.
    As far as using it for dating? I think it is a very valuable resource that women in general are underusing.
    We all are at the age where it is hard to meet anyone. This isn’t high school or college where you see the same people over and over again until you finally get the nerve to say something. Now you have to be willing to take a risk. Some of the highest quality women that I have met have been through dating sites or through Facebook. These were women that I would never have met if I didn’t put myself out there.
    What are your chances of meeting a guy that lives and works 20 miles away from you? Very slim unless a friend introduces you or you are on a dating site. Just be careful what you post on Facebook. I have become friends with a lot of women that started out being friends of women I met elsewhere. They see your comments on their friends “Wall” and if they see you enough and like what you say, they read what they can on your profile. They can only see what you allow them to see because you can block certain things. But if they want to know more they send you a friend request.
    It kind of works the same way as forums on some dating sites. A lot of people read the forums but never comment. If they like what you say often enough they send a flirt or an email. Naturally, if you use a lot of bad language, or bad grammar you won’t get a lot of positive attention. So, if you want it to work you have to be on your best behavior.

  • Heather Montgomery, CEO & serial entrepreneur

    Veronica – I did have a date at the movie… YOU! I laughed so hard at the “running away screaming” line. Facebook can be lots of things, but you never know who knows a great person to introduce you to – because you rock!

    Thanks for sharing – H

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  • Remy, Photographer & CEO of Cornerstone Creative

    Veronica – I really thought about this for a while..cause my original intent of creating my own profile was just to see what would happen. I initially got alot of ‘friend requests’ from friends from college, HS, some family – and some ex boyfriends which I find interesting!
    I am also seeing a few people who ask to friend me because they see my profile on a mutual friend’s site, and even if I don’t know them, we know a common person, and they wanna build their friend list – I”m guessing that is what it is.

    No date requests directly from facebook, but I can see how it can create a platform for talk/banter that otherwise couldn’t happen. I hope your discoveries help narrow your search! Good luck, right behind ya.
    oxo Rem

    • Veronica

      You were so missed yesterday, and it was great, go see it.

      I believe Facebook to be yet another avenue for my dream man to be able to find and communicate with me.

      Happy Facebook.

  • Rod Harmon

    Veronica,

    Interesting thoughts on Facebook as a dating, possible relationship, locate the love of your life site. I have enjoyed reconnecting with old friends and finding out more about my current friends and yes, I have met new friends on Facebook. I am not sure I ever looked at it as a possible dating site. It is also a great tool, professionally as an investigator.

    What if you meet someone off Facebook you are interested in, do you “Facebook friend” them or let them friend you? OMG, they now have access to you, your friends, family, photos, wall posts, etc… The risk is they judge you by what they see and read without in many cases knowing as is famously said “the rest of the story”.

    All said I believe I am agreeing with you, Facebook is not a good way to start a possible love of your life relationship.

    Thank you~!

    Keep the dream and the forward progress,
    Rod

    • Veronica

      Rod as always I love hearing your perspective on love. I look forward to reading your post as well, don’t worry the girls will take good care of you.

      I am of the belief that I am who I am. I won’t have to worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. Or even about him hearing or seeing the wrong thing about me, I just truly believe that “I can’t say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing, for the man who is supposed to be in my life”.

      It will be easy.

  • Catherine Hughes, Editor & Chief

    I think you are so brave to put yourself out there in any manner. There are quite a few things I don’t like about Facebook, but I do like reconnecting with family and friends who don’t live near me. Facebook makes it easy to reach out to check in with them. I like that I can connect with my niece and nephews and be slightly in their lives as they live their 20s.

    Love this video.

    Cath