How Do You Attract Men After Age 55?

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attracting men after the age of 55

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Why after the age of 55 do you ask?  Because that’s my big dream.

Before the age of 55 attracting a man didn’t seem to be a problem for me at all. What happened? A slight weight gain, a sagging of the skin under my chin – “joules” is what my mom calls it – and the realization that I’m not 25 anymore.

I am being too hard on myself.

Being a women who has experienced a good share of attention over the years, I actually believed I would escape the sagging skin, and the graying hair. As my dream continues, I’ve talked about the many different places, and ways, to meet men.

I have even discussed what to do if you have shut ourselves off emotionally, and what it takes to open yourself up to love again. But how do you find acceptance with yourself as you grow older? And will the man you want, want you in return?

Will men love me as my hair becomes thin, course and gray – in several places. What if I become sick? What if I have to take tiny little pills every morning with my coffee? Here I am using that mirror again – can you tell? I’m chicken-boning myself , as I ponder this image of me – the older blond girl.

Why does the possibility of dating bring up these issues for us women?

I know there are young girls out there chicken-boning their beautiful appearance, as they get ready for going out tonight. They are standing there, looking at a beautiful girl and not seeing her – not seeing her for all that she is.

She’s only thinking – am I good enough?

Does it ever end?

Good lord people – I have grown children.

And here I am, noticing that after sitting for too long a period of time at the computer, I have these “oh my God” moments when I stand up – where every joint in my body begins to scream.

If this is what has happens at 55, what happens when I get to 60 or 65?

I did say that I picked dating, and falling in love again, as a dream – right?

Okay, breathe.

I say feel your fear feelings and do it anyway. Last week I was the maid-of-honor at my best friend’s wedding. You will be proud to know that I actually did some flirting and enjoyed myself. It was a great opportunity to step out of my comfort zone.

I felt attractive.

I allowed myself to have fun.

Don’t faint.

At one point, I noticed that I was searching the crowd for a handsome, attractive man. I stopped myself and remembered my expectations –

Give me a man who is comfortable growing old. A man who has a slight weight gain, thinning hair, or no hair, or hair going gray. Maybe even throw in some joules to match mine.

I want a man who can find the same self-acceptance with himself as I must – if I am going to land a really great guy.

I’m ignoring the Internet websites telling us that all older men like younger women. I look at the women here in 8 Women Dream and I don’t think you could find a kinder, more loving, more fun bunch of women if you tried for 30 years. Women like these ladies are a rare thing. Men should be lining up to find out more. I know there must be great guys out there. I just have to figure out how in the hell to find them.

Maybe I’ll flap my joules on Highway 101 with my window down and a kindred spirit will spot his future mate as I drive by.

Yeah.  it could happen to me.

Perfect as I am after the age of 55.


Veronica rotated off 8 Women Dream in December of 2010 after successfully completing 2 dreams.  She is still dating.

  • Rod

    Enjoyed reading this and getting the perspective of a woman at 55. Especially since I am a male in the dating scene at almost 55 (Tomorrow I’m 55!).

    I guess I will quit working on trying to reduce my “joules”.

    Again, nicely done.

    • Veronica

      Happy Birthday, I turned 55 on July 10th, I will be the best I can be for whatever age I am…….Be happy with who you are. Keep smiling and be happy…..

  • Remy G

    Veronica, I can hear your voice as if you were reading this out loud. I’m giggling and crying and OhMyGodding within the lines of your post.

    As my son so sweetly reminds me, “Mom, remember, you are 0-2 – (meaning I have started my collection of ex husbands).

    I have been single since 2006. I cant imagine getting back out there, girl. You will have to write the manual for me, so that when I’m ready I’ve got your wisdom all in one place.

    I admire you.


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  • Catherine, Site Admin

    There are women in this world who have never known what it is like to receive the kind of attention you’ve enjoyed – and they’ve lead amazing lives. Look at Julia Child – a fascinating woman the world loved.

    Look at the popularity of Betty White. And I wouldn’t call Anna Wintour of Vogue the most beautiful woman in the world.

    With your youth did you find what you were searching for?

    I think life gets so much better with age.

    Remember the Buddha: “The mind is everything. What you think you become.”