30 Healing Affirmations For Daughters Of Toxic Mothers

I’ve created a set of 30 healing affirmations for daughters of toxic mothers . . .

I don’t know if you ever do this, but I have caught myself on several occasions repeating little affirmations to myself, little mantras to shield me from toxic mother fall-out. I’m thinking about including them in my dream project, writing about toxic moms and their daughters.

My friend Jen says affirmations are kind of dorky and I know what she means, but I’ve compiled a list that could last a month anyway, although I really hope none of my readers actually needs one every single day.

Or you could just sit in the bathtub and pout like I’ve been known to do.

30 Healing affirmations for daughters of toxic mothers -

1. My toxic mother won’t kill me. If she could, she would have already.
2. Any guilt I feel regarding my toxic mother was planted, watered and tended by my mother.
3. If my toxic mother were a co-worker or neighbor and I moved away, I’d never visit of her again.
4. Family secrets instill guilt and shame. Are you being paid to keep family secrets? Then it’s not your job to keep them.
5. If you can hear your mother’s voice in your head belittling you, tell her out loud she’s wrong. It’s okay. Other drivers will think you’ve got hands-free.
6. Any mother who could be cruel to a child is not going to apologize to that child when they’ve grown up.
7. Take everything negative about your mother and flip it in your life: create a welcoming and warm home life; express love and encourage others daily, extend yourself to those in need and remember, a life well lived is the best revenge.
8. Five ways to say no to your toxic mother: No, I won’t be doing that. No, don’t count on my being there. No, I’m done subjecting myself to your drama. No, I choose not to accept the stress. No, I have more positive things to do.
9. You can tell your toxic mother that as you’ve grown into a woman you’ve developed a better understanding of the choices she made. That should shut her up for a few moments.
10. Your toxic mother can only intimidate you if you let her. While she’s busy trying to bully the child you, the adult you can reject her, ignore her, correct her, or report her to authorities.
11. Amuse yourself to avoid getting sucked in. Keep an egg timer, a pad and paper by the phone. Tally the lies, the guilt trips and the demands she can make in 3 minutes. Then hang up.
12. Never fight crazy with crazy. Crazy is your toxic mother’s ‘hood.
13. Repeat after me: My toxic mother does not live in my head. She lives in her head.
14. When relatives and friends say they can’t understand how you can treat your mother the way you do, consider telling them the truth.
15. A toxic mother is an unnatural disaster.
16. You can laugh or you can cry. Laugh. It’ll annoy the hell out of your toxic mother.
17. Never hand a toxic “mom bomb” the match.
18. On Mother’s Day and other family holidays focus on the positive women (and men) in your life. Thank them for their caring, kindness and encouragement.
19. The cruel rule of RSVP is that the one person you hope will decline always comes. Never actually extend an invitation to an event at which you’d hate to see your toxic mother.
20. Mother-daughter time is precious only if it’s positive.
21. Give your mother the one gift she never gave you: the truth.
22. Don’t let your toxic mother rob you of rich friendships with women who on the surface remind you of her. What are the odds your mother had an even more evil twin?
23. Remember what my dad said, nobody can resist a joyous woman.
24. Consider that your toxic mother may have been treated even more badly as a child than you were. It could keep you from throwing something.
25. There is no dishonor in retreat. Refusing to enjoin battle is a small victory when it comes to toxic mothers.
26. Keeping your children away from your toxic mother is a no-brainer. Introduce them to kind, responsible elders instead. Don’t know any? Consider visiting or volunteering with your child at a senior center or veterans home for an hour a week.
27. Honor thy mother and father? You can honor them by respecting yourself first.
28. Stare down your toxic mom fears until she fears you more.
29. That which is most personal is most universal. People will understand if you simply say, my mother is not a nice person, but I am.
30. Whose little girl am I? I can be my own little girl. I can care for and nurture her myself.

Do you have any words of wisdom to add?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments section.

Also, if you haven’t yet filled out the Confessions questionnaire please, please do.

Cut and paste it to a Word document, fill it out and email it to newsyrayne@gmail.com.

The stories included in these submissions are expanding the scope of my project. It’s funny how the hardest thing for me, asking for help, always amazes me in how generous people are.

Plus, telling your story is good for you.

Rayne

Rayne Wolfe’s dream is to write her first book Confessions of an Undutiful Daughter by the end of 2011. She completed her dream journey May of 2011 on 8WD after a year living her dream. You can find her at Toxic Mom Toolkit on Facebook.

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