30 Affirmations for Daughters of Toxic Mothers

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Rayne Wolfe

Self-Employed Freelance Journalist
Rayne's dream was to write her memoir and found a global support community for adult children of toxic mothers. This summer she completed her book, which inclues her story of growing up with not one, but two super toxic mothers as well as a mosiac of mini-memoirs of women from all over the world who have created happy and peaceful lives despite toxic parenting. Her book, Toxic Mom Toolkit, is published on Amazon.com and Create Space. Her Facebook page Toxic Mom Toolkit, attracts over 250,000 per month and is a safe place to read or tell healing stories, exchange positive strategies on how to live with toxic parenting and lots of humor and resources. A freelance journalist, she currently writes a food & drink page for several Bay Area newspapers and is a private writing coach.

Latest posts by Rayne Wolfe (see all)

 30 Affirmations for Daughters of Toxic Mothers Poster

As part of my book writing process on growing up with a toxic mother I’ve created a set of 30 healing affirmations for daughters of toxic mothers.

I don’t know if you ever do this, but I have caught myself on several occasions repeating little affirmations to myself, little mantras to shield me from toxic mother fall-out.

I’m thinking about including them in my dream book project, writing about toxic moms and their daughters.

My friend Jen says affirmations are kind of dorky and I know what she means, but I’ve compiled a list that could last a month anyway, although I really hope none of my readers actually needs one every single day.

Or you could just sit in the bathtub and pout like I’ve been known to do.

30 Healing Affirmations for Daughters of Toxic mothers –

1. My toxic mother won’t kill me. If she could, she would have already.

2. Any guilt I feel regarding my toxic mother was planted, watered and tended by my mother.

3. If my toxic mother were a co-worker or neighbor and I moved away, I’d never visit her again.

4. Family secrets instill guilt and shame. Are you being paid to keep family secrets? It’s not my job to keep family secrets.

5. If I hear my mother’s voice in my head belittling me, I will tell her out loud that she’s wrong. It’s okay.

30 Affirmations for Daughters of Toxic Mothers Quote #5

6. Any mother who could be cruel to a child is not going to apologize to that child when they’ve grown up.

7. I will take everything negative about my mother and flip it in my life: I will create a welcoming and warm home life; I will express love and encourage others daily; I will extend myself to those in need and I will remember: a life well-lived is the best revenge.

8. 5 ways to say no to my toxic mother:

A. No, I won’t be doing that.
B. No, don’t count on my being there.
C. No, I’m done subjecting myself to your drama.
D. No, I choose not to accept the stress.
E. No, I have more positive things to do.

9. I can tell my toxic mother that as I’ve grown into a woman (or man) I’ve developed a better understanding of the choices she made. (That should shut her up for a few moments).

10. My toxic mother can only intimidate me if I let her. While she’s busy trying to bully the child me, the adult me can reject her, ignore her, correct her, or report her to authorities.

11. I will amuse myself to avoid getting sucked in to her games. I will keep an egg timer, a pad and paper by the phone. I will tally the lies, the guilt trips and the demands she can make in 3 minutes. Then I will hang up.

30 Affirmations for Daughters of Toxic Mothers: Rayne Wolphe's Advice Never fight Crazy with Crazy

12. I will never fight crazy with crazy. Crazy is my toxic mother’s “hood.”

13. Repeat after me: My toxic mother does not live in my head. She lives in her head.

14. When relatives and friends say they can’t understand how I can treat my mother the way I do, I’ll consider telling them the truth.

15. I know that a toxic mother is an unnatural disaster.

16. I can laugh or I can cry. I will laugh. It’ll annoy the hell out of my toxic mother.

17. I will never hand my toxic “mom bomb” the match.

18. On Mother’s Day and other family holidays I will focus on the positive women (and men) in my life. I will thank them for their caring, kindness and encouragement.

19. The cruel rule of RSVP is that the one person you hope will decline always comes. I promise to never actually extend an invitation to an event at which I’d hate to see my toxic mother.

30 Affirmations for Daughters of Toxic Mothers - Mother Daughter Time Quote by Rayne Wolphe

20. I will participate in mother-daughter time only if it’s positive.

21. I will give my toxic mother the one gift she never gave me: the truth.

22. I will not let my toxic mother rob me of rich friendships with women who on the surface remind me of her. (What are the odds your mother had an even more evil twin?).

23. Remember what my dad said: nobody can resist a joyous woman. I chose to remain joyous in spite of my mother.

24. I am open to consider that my toxic mother may have been treated even more badly as a child than I was. (This thought could keep you from throwing something).

25. I know there is no dishonor in retreat. I know that refusing to join in battle is a small victory when it comes to toxic mothers.

26. Keeping my children away from my toxic mother is a no-brainer. I choose to introduce them to kind, responsible elders instead. (Don’t know any? Consider visiting or volunteering with your child at a senior center or veterans home for an hour a week.).

27. Honor thy mother and father? I can choose to honor them by respecting myself first.

30 Affirmations for Daughters of Toxic Mothers - Overcoming Fear Quote by Rayne Wolphe

28. I will stare down my toxic mom fears until they fear me more.

29. That which is most personal is most universal. I know people will understand if I simply say, “My mother is not a nice person, but I am.”

30. Whose little girl am I? I can be my own little girl. I can care for and nurture her myself.

It is my sincerest hop that these healing affirmations help you in dealing with your toxic mother.

Affirmations for Toxic Mothers: Toxic Mom Toolkit the book by Rayne Wolfe

Click here to buy the book right now!



Note: Although we run a Creative Commons licensed website — for this particular post — since is is the cornerstone of getting the word out on Rayne’s book and is a published part of her book, certain copyrights do apply outside of Creative Commons and the author has the right to retain those rights.  Please ask us permission if you would like to use this content on your site by emailing pr(at)8womendream.com before using the content in its entirety so that we can discuss terms of it’s use.  Yes it is perfectly OK to link to this page or share it on social media.  

Give us your thoughts!


  • holly

    Hello, I had a toxic mother and family. It’s a long story. I made a promise to mysef a 17 that I would never live with my parents again. at 27 after an emergency situation I moved back in with my mother and also rely on my dad as well. Sometimes I treat her the way she treated me just to beat her to it and let her know not to cross me. It keeps her in line but it hurts her so she yells at me because ultimately she is the equivalent of a small girl but I have to yet I feel guilty. I feel defeated like I will never shake them away. I will never bounce back from this ultimate defeat and will never be an adult. All my parents’ children are failed adults. They are aging and if I ever get back on my feet again it will be short lived because I will probably have to take care of them soon. I have relyed on them for money more times than I would like to admit considering how evil I paint them in my mind.  

  • Thank u :'(    

  • I have found so much help in this post. And it’s not even MY mother who is toxic to me. It is my mother in law and my father in law. I married into a toxic family, thankfully my husband managed to grow up into the kind of person they are not. I am thankful they live far away but admit they couldn’t be farther. Their web of lies and verbal abuse knows no bounds. After going to therapy for a while I am still recovering from hurtful and abusive words and actions over a year later. Since I have cut them out of my life for good. It hurts. I didn’t know how much verbal abuse could hurt until I went through it myself. Now I am in the awkward position of being pregnant with their first grandchild. Not telling them a thing. I realize I live in fear if they find out we’re expecting, even though they do not know where we live. It’s a daily struggle to reclaim my life, reclaim my joy and find reasons to prove them wrong by the way I choose to live. It may take time but I am trying not to fear anymore. Affirmation may be corny, but to me this article really helped. I now feel enabled to protect the ‘child’ inside me and encourage my husband to do the same as we claim the peace that should have been ours all along. One lesson I have learned is to never underestimate the lengths to which genuinely toxic people will go to get back at you, to get back in your life. 

  • Newsyrayne

    Thank you so much for your comments. The moment you can see your Toxic Mother or toxic family as just people, you know what to do. And there’s no turning back. Your story is helping others. Best, Rayne Wolfe, founder Toxic Mom Toolkit

    • ProudMommy

      Many thanks Rayne, that’s a wonderful way of looking at it… taking away their ‘rank’…is a great thing to remember, thank you x I’m very pleased to share a little of my story, thank you allowing me to!  

  • Lost Soul in California

    Thank you for writing these healing affirmations. Some of them brought tears to my eyes. I am a product of two teenage parents and found out I was only kept because my mom thought it would make my dad stick around. My mom played no part in my life and decided hanging on guys right in front of me (as a child) was more important. My dad had visiting rights but was never at his house to spend time with me which left me with my step mom. She was an evil person who abused me both physically and mentally. There was never a time where I wasnt in “time out” or getting spanked or made fun of for something. (Mind you I was a little kid at this time.) I would cry my eyes out whenever I had to go over to my dad’s house and my mom never cared to find out why. I remember going to a child psychologist which didnt last very long because my mom didnt want to take any more of her precious time away from herself. 

    I had so much anger towards my mother the majority of my life till I decided that no matter what I do she is not going to care about me. Now that I am an adult, I tried to better my relationship with my mother but I am only seen as her “piggy bank.” She has nothing but great things to say about my other two sisters who do nothing but use her.One of my sisters is 23, married and pregnant and lives with my mom. She has an outrageous amount of debt and cannot manage money to save her life. However she can afford to be irresponsible because she has my mother to fall back on. She’s had her car repo’d because she tries to live outside her means, and had my mother co sign for a loan over $1k so she can get her husband’s car fixed. My sister constantly asks my mother for things and tells her she will pay her back but never does. Because of this, I am stuck helping my mom out because she cannot afford to live. I unfortunately have a big heart and have a hard time telling people no. 

      As for me, I am the screw up. I’m the one who is independent and never ask for anything. I’m EXTREMELY responsible and have put my life back on the right track BY MYSELF. I am also putting myself through college to better my life and yet I’m the “loser.”  I pay my bills and splurge when I am able to which both my mother and sister HATE because they feel my money needs to go to them. The way my mother has treated me my whole life makes it hard for me to trust people and makes me fearful to have any kids of my own. I feel like due to the lack of parenting in my life I may be the same way with my own children. It bothers me that at the age of 27 some of her actions still affect me. No matter how much I tell myself that her neglect does not matter to me anymore, I guess in the end I am STILL trying to get her love. Pathetic isnt it? I lay in my bed almost every night and cry myself to sleep. I wish for death but it never comes which forces me to live out another miserable day. I keep hoping and wishing that someone comes along that could help me see the “light” through this dark situation but that help will never come.

    • ProudMommy

      Lost Soul in California…

      you sound incredibly strong, loving, very normal, and very clear on what has gone on… so I don’t think you are the lost one! :) well done to you for having so much strength and courage.   I encourage you to distance yourself from your mother and family… even if it is for a short time (say 6 months)…. it is such a valuable thing to do, allow yourself your own ground, your own space – away from all the manipulation, the complications, history.  The baggage is so great sometimes with dysfunctional families (and dysfunctional mothers) that you simply cannot see the forest for the trees, but as soon as you distance yourself and start reclaiming your own ground without their interference…. you start building the belief in yourself… and you will no longer cry yourself to sleep at nights, you will only feel happiness and contentment about who you have become.  In many ways, you have to be your own mother in the ways your mother was not to you.

      Say as many affirmations as you can every day.  Write them down on little pieces of paper and stick them on to your mirror.  You will inadvertently read them morning and night (crucial times – the start of the day and the last thought of the day)… and slowly you will begin to believe them.. most importantly, know them in your heart as true.  Write them as though they are present and now – not in the future… eg “I am beautiful” not ‘I will be beautiful”.  They all have to be in the present, now and positive.  “I am successful”.  “I am loving”  “I am loved”.  

      I understand your need for wanting your mother’s approval and love… I know that feeling all too well sadly and it is something that takes time to overcome.  First thing to realise is … you will never get the approval and love you want from your mother, she is incapable of giving it, so you must stop seeking it” and secondly… you can’t miss something you never had… ie your mother was never that sort of ‘loving’ mother in the first place… she is who she is and can’t be anything else… sometimes it is hard to accept.. even though we know it, we still struggle with the fact that our mothers are cruel and we can’t understand why and sometimes we incorrectly blame ourselves even at a subconscious level.  Once you accept that you have nothing to do with the way she is… you somehow stop looking for something that never existed and slowly your anger will lift (not completely because injustices have been done, but with practice and in time it works).  This can bring you back to yourself, back to what makes YOU happy, and from there you no longer feel like you are missing anything.

      You can build a life full of the things you want and deserve, just let go of the hurt and open your heart to the universe… it will all come to you, I promise x

      PS please don’t underestimate the power of affirmations!  They completely changed my life, so start writing some NOW and let me know how you are x

  • Jane

    Thank you for you affirmations. Anything that helps is good. i have the most toxic and sadistic and destructive mother that ever lived.I have scars on me from when I was a baby. Doctors pointed them out and i have had them confirmed by a forensic policeman as cigarette burns. I remember clearly many other terrible things. To this day she spreads as much toxic poison as she can about me and others. What really surprises me is how she can find willing people to abuse by proxy, to spread her poison. The one thing that really surprises me is how my brothers, for whom I cried in anguish as a child, and rescued and paid debts for, can still to this day, be her henchman, spy and abuser. Extraordinary. May the lord himself help me to escape them all and to find peace and a life,and a real family of my own, even at this late stage. May all of you who have your own stories and lives filled with the poisons emitted by a toxic mother and/or family, escape and find your own life and peace and fulfillment and joy.

    One of my favourite affirmations above is ‘My mother does not live inside my head, she lives inside her head’. I have to say head and heart as I often feel her ‘inside’ me as if she has injected poison straight into my heart. I have often wondered whether she is a person at all, or simply a demon in disguise.

  • Drkangelle

    Wow!  Thank you so much for your posting. It is the 4th of July and I am mulling over seeing my toxic mother at the family cookout.
    Just yesterday my husband and I finally received legal custody of 3 beautiful children  [now 1yr, 3yrs and 5 yrs old] who desperately needed a loving, stable home. They came to us nearly 2 yrs ago after children’s services removed them from a motel room where their mother and her boyfriend were selling heroin and letting addicts get high in the bathroom. My mother has latched onto their mother, who is also the mother of my 7yr old nephew (her parents have custody of him) and has done everything she can to turn us into villains. She has told countless lies and done every sneaking underhanded thing in the book! We have made these children healthy (the baby undersized and underweight), gotten them therapy (another child services case, the 3yr old received a skull fracture of unknown cause), and put them school. Of course everything has come out of our pockets. There is a child support order for her and the only known father of one child yet not 1 dime has been paid. I have had to resign from my job to stay home with them, we’ve purchased a bigger home to accommodate our much larger family (from 4 people to now 7) and are doing very well. Thankfully justice has prevailed! I’ve not spoken directly with my mother for almost 2yrs and she may choose today to create drama, though I know my Aunts will not tolerate her behavior by any means.
    Throughout my life I have dealt with my mother’s jealousy and haven’t recognized it until a few months ago when supportive family members and friends started calling it what it was, I just figured she simply hated me. I look back on time wasted where I felt inadequate and tried everything to get her  approval. I would only gain sympathy from her when I was having problems (she’d learn this from my sister). I am finally strong and allowing myself to truly live up to my potential instead of holding myself back to appease her. I do finally realize that her problem is HER problem and not mine.
    Thank you again for this post, I will remember these affirmations should she actually show up at the cookout. We also have a plan b, to visit close friends and enjoy their pool party should things become uncomfortable.
    To love and life without the toxicity!

    • Newsyrayne

      So glad you found this post and I hope you check out Toxic Mom Toolkit on Facebook and YouTube. We have friends who have adopted an adult sibling’s child and I understand how challenging that can be. Bless you for looking out for the little ones in your family. Hope you survived your cookout! – Rayne

  • shellyb

    most of these aren’t affirmations.  they are quite focused on negativity!

    • Catherine


      Thank you for your comment, but part of Rayne’s journey here on 8 Women Dream was to allow daughters of toxic mothers to express their true feelings about their relationships with their toxic mothers.  Her dream was to allow women to say, “My mother isn’t good for me and I can’t be around her anymore.  And that’s okay!”

      It was such a taboo subject when she first started writing about this hidden secret in families.

      Too often abuse gets hidden from public view because the victims think there is something wrong with them, or their thoughts are wrong, or they should try to be nice.  None of this aides in the healing process and none of it works with a bully mom.

      Rayne wanted victims like herself to know that honest emotions, like these affirmations, are healthy and part of the healing process.  There is a lot of fear around standing up to your toxic parent and Rayne’s affirmations are a calling to stand up to the bully parent that is messing with your life.

      If you visit Rayne’s page “Toxic Mom Toolkit” on Facebook, you will see that she offers both healing thoughts as well as defensive mechanisms.  

      So many people have emailed me over these affirmations — thrilled that someone understand their life and their pain.

      Sometimes dreams are messy, and that’s okay.

      Thanks again for your comment.


  • 8 Women Dream

    Any comments posted here are forwarded to Rayne and her project.  Feel free to comment and we will continue to connect you with her.  thank you for stopping by 8 Women Dream.

  • cambalam

    I would love to see some advice for dealing with the daughters of toxic mothers I know and love. How can I, in a healthy way, help my young nieces, step-daughters, cousins, and students who are being poisoned by their toxic mothers?

    • Newsyrayne

      You bring up a great topic and a wonderful opportunity to model healthy relationships to these children. First of all, just be a kind adult in their lives. Be steady and true and listen to them. Children don’t understand adult behavior and they are hard-wired to love their parents unconditionally. You can’t fix the Toxic Mom and you shouldn’t wade in on adult topics with children. But just be there. Plan simple outings and include lots of hugs and positive reinforcement and let them know that they are loved very much. That will make a big difference in the life of a child of a toxic mom. 

    • Jane

      Tell me to get the hell away from toxic mothers. I SO wish I had known what i know now and that I had left my mother when I was 16 and never gone back. The suffering she has inflicted in decades of my life is incredible. You cannot begin to heal until you get away from them because you are constantly dealing with new trauma, new drama, new manipulation, new abuse. You don’t know you are because you can’t get out of it long enough to see. Also what is set up in you because of horrible abuse is a complete inability to understand the concept of self love. Self love means you move AWAY from pain. I am an intelligent, educated person and yet I had NO concept of what it was to love myself at all.

      Also a technique to help heal is to go into every situation where you have been harmed (and also into the situations where you have tried to hard yourself) and put yourself grown self into the little child or whatever age you were at the time, and fight back in your mind and bring that person home in whatever way you can picure it, and put them inside your heart. You won’t believe how healing this is.

      Also if there was physical attacks, in your mind, when you have a flashback, fight back WITH the body part that was being abused. This is a Gestalt Technique and is very very healing too.

      • Jane

        Tell ‘THEM’ to get away from toxic mothers; sorry lol, Freudian slip.

      • Newsyrayne

        Jane I love your post! Thank you for posting these great ideas. Best, Rayne Wolfe, founder Toxic Mom Toolkit

      • quinie

        So sorry for all their hardships. Yes, I agree with GT.

  • anon girl

    Its mothers day today and I just want to say that I am here googling ‘Toxic Mothers’. Needless to say, I have a very toxic mother and I have cut my entire toxic family, siblings, both parents and some old friends out of my life becuase they are toxic, energy sappers, they use guilt as love and all they know is manipulation. I will strive to be happy. I will never go back to living in hell, with them. I believe in my life, myself and my choices. There is no space in a great life for toxic people, who are mess-ups.

    • Todd

      Hell  yes. Thank you for writing that

  • thank you thank you thank you.

    • Rayne


      Don’t thank me, thank all the other undutiful daughters/readers who have educated me even further with their stories. Please come back each Sunday for more information, opinion and stories. This is where the sanity starts.

  • Pingback: My Top 8 Posts For 2010 On Dealing With Toxic Parents | 8 Women Dream()

  • Maureen Wilson

    I have a toxic mother that I no longer see as she was destroying me……many people don’t understand when they find out you never see your own mother :(

    • Karen

      I understand fully Maureen, people always seem to assume YOU have done something wrong if u dont see your own mother. I haven’t spoken or seen my mother for 7 years, I am 48 and I only wish I had cut her off when I was 20 instead of trying to please someone who is just a nasty control freak.

  • Rayne

    Do you know why TM’s like telephones? No witnesses! They’ll say things on the phone they’d never say in public. Do you know why Undutiful Daughters love telephones? Call screening! I’m so glad you found this post on the day you needed it.

  • Gail Garcia

    I was sitting here about to cry because i just talked to my toxic Mom then I read this and felt stronger. Having a toxic Mom is so depressing because I never know when she is going to attack me and how severe the attack will be. I will be sailing along happy with my life and she will call me and BAM I am reeling from whatever nasty things she has said it is so sad. Thanks for the affirmations I need them.

  • DTJ

    what a great blog post/story rayne =)

    • Rayne

      Thank you! Can I interest you in a questionnaire?

  • Dear Rayne,

    I can barely see the screen through my tears, here. Somehow these affirmations have given me my own intelligent ammo against my toxic mother. Whenever I have been around her, or I call, I always feel really crazy. I am beginning to realize that she can’t come and remove me from my life, she won’t really come after me destroying my childrens innocence and the beautiful childhood we are creating for them, a full state away. I have been living under the “Be the change you want to see in the world”, and when my mother hadn’t changed or apologized or even admit to any wrong doing as a mother, I thought I was’t “being the change” enough. Now I am starting to truly understand that it’s not me, but maybe it’s her. Also, I don’t think she will change. I’ll keep these affirmations up and present to look at until I really own these words.

    Thank you again, for impacting my life in such an important way!

    • Rayne

      Shellie, I’m so happy you found this post. These affirmations were inspired by my experience. Trust yourself to create your own, specific, empowering affirmations.
      For example, if there was one scary toxic mother at your neighborhood playground, you’d decide on your own ground rules about exposing your children to her chaos.
      So maybe your affirmation in that situation would be: My children deserve a peaceful playtime; I am my children’s peacekeeper.
      You might shop parks, or figure out the best time to avoid her. You wouldn’t tell her she was toxic – you’d adjust and protect your children.
      So when you are a shield protecting your children from your toxic mother, you are doing the sane, adult and compassionate thing. Don’t hope she’ll change. You can’t change her. But if she’s out in the cold long enough she might change herself just enough to exit the toxic zone and have the privilege of being a grandmother. Or not. It’s YOUR call. I love that Gandhi quote, but the world is a big place. Why not be the change in your home, on your block and at your playground while you’re kids are little. The world will still be there when you expand your sphere of influence.
      Calm rational thinking makes dealing with TM’s easier and easier.

  • Jess K

    This was really helpful. I have been searching for ways to cope with my mothers toxic behavior. I especailly like the 5 ways to say no and Amuse yourself. The most challenging aspect is learning how to enforce bounderies with a woman that doesn’t just cross boundaries – She blows them up. Any suggestions on that would be apperciated

    • Rayne

      My friend Jen wants me to title my book Surviving Mom Bombs. Sounds like your mom would qualify!
      Other than plain old maturity, the trick to mom bombs is not handing them the match. Don’t go where she’s going verbally. Blow out the flame by cutting things short. Accidental face hangups (darned this new phone!) work. A cop in the rearview is good for a quick hangup. You wouldn’t let anyone else talk to you or invade your space like that – so don’t let her. See you next Sunday? – Rayne

  • Zachary M

    What you wrote genuinely spoke to me and I wish I could talk more about this, but I can’t. Thanks for encouraging others to share their stories. It’s very enlightening to me. I wish you great success with your book.

    • Rayne


      Want to be the first man to fill out the questionnaire
      found in the column entitled “Got a Dream – Ask for Help”?
      I post each Sunday. Please visit again.
      – Rayne

  • Rayne

    Thank you for the blessing! Amen!

  • Toni Schram

    This tears me up to read of a person (mother may be too kind of a word for her) who raises a child with such anger, contempt, hate and jealousy.

    Your are a beacon of hope for some many others who have suffered the same fate as you. Your words are golden to those seeking comfort from this boiling tempest they have been exposed to all their lives.

    Bless you Rayne-


  • Laurie

    How about, no thanks Mom, that simply doesn’t work for me. It’s a crying shame not to have a loving supportive Mom. I mean why do some uteruses work and others don’t. I’ve never been cracked open with love like I was when I first held my babies. And affirmations are not corny. They actually change the neuro-transmitters in our brains creating new pathways of healing so affirm on Rayne…..you rule!
    Blessings and Love, Laurie

  • Rayne

    Boy, maybe I should have posted that sooner! Do me a favor, both Remy and you should send the questionaire link to these ladies. I’m still collecting stories.

  • Heather, the e-commerce builder

    “If my toxic mother were a co-worker or neighbor and I moved away, I’d never visit of her again.”

    I had no idea I had subconsciously been living this rule for about 15 years now!

    Not sure this is an affirmation, but if I know I’m not in a space to handle it, I give myself permission to throw any cards I get from her away without reading them.

    Thanks again for an incredible story – Heather

  • Rayne

    How funny is that?! It’s like TM CPR!

  • Remy, the photographer

    Rayne, Like Veronica’s experience, this post was perfect timing. I had a long talk with a friend I’ve known since first grade. She has finally embraced the fact that her mother is toxic, will always be toxic, and at 78 she cant change her. I called her and read her this post and I could hear her stand taller over the phone. She didn’t say much, just kept whispering “thank you so much” over and over. I dont have a toxic mom, but I’m determined to help others who do.

  • Veronica

    There are no mistakes in this world. Just this morning a dear friend of my phoned asking if it was alright if she divorced her mother. Then I read your post, perfect timing. I read it to her and she was able to calm down and not want to kill her mother. So if for nothing else, they work.


    • Rayne

      That is so cool! I hope she was laughing by the time you got to the bottom.

      And did you tell her she needs to fill out a questionaire? I need more!


      P.S. FYI, you CAN divorce a parent.

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    • Rayne

      This post was mentioned on SquirrelTV? I’m hoping that’s a good thing!

  • Catherine, Site Admin

    I actually love affirmations and use them diligently when I am going through a rough patch in my life. They counter the voice in your head that tries to tell you things which aren’t true or will never come to fruition.

    When I am being a good girl and meditating like I should I use one at the end of my meditation.

    They can even help you calm down before drifting off to sleep.

    Being a recovering Catholic, it stands to reason that I would be a fan of His Holiness The Dalai Lama who says the following about affirmations,

    “The very root of failure in our lives is to think, “Oh, how useless and powerless I am!” It is important to have a strong force of mind thinking, “I can do it,” this not being mixed with pride or any other afflictive emotions.”

    If it’s good enough for the Dalai Lama, then it’s good enough for me, and great for your readers.


    • Rayne

      It’s so crazy how negative we can be to ourselves in our little craniums. Sometimes I have to say to myself, Hey! you’ve hiked the Kalalau Trail! Twice! No boats! Hey! You survived your crazy first husband! Hey! Wonderful people think you’re smart! I have to say it out loud! I have to talk myself into believing I’m a capable person!