Are You Dreaming of Love After Age 50

Dreaming of Love After Age 50

Finding love after age 50 is not the same as finding love in your 20s. We no longer want to spend every weekend hanging out in a bar. Since I am still in research mode, I stumbled upon the book online, Finding Love After 50 by Tom Blake.

He advertises this as the only dating/relationship book written by a man exclusively for singles age 50 and older.

So I suppose I should read it and test it out . . . right?

The book is based on the stories and experiences of people who’ve been divorced or widowed and is filled with practical advice and information that will help single adults re-enter the dating world and enrich their lives.

Here is a video where he advises how to find love again after 50 –

It would be fun to use Tom’s book and actually see if his practical advice and information will help me re-enter the dating world. I will be purchasing his book and letting you know what I think about his advice. Perhaps Tom will be available to give some personal advice and/or do an interview. . .

Other ways I am looking at meeting men are to find some of the things that men are attracted to:

Sports.

For sports – there’s golf, football, softball, and car racing.

Food.

For food – there’s grocery stores, restaurants (eat at the bar), 5 Star hotel restaurants and bars, coffee shops and donut shops.

Money.

For money – there’s banks, investment clubs (like In The Flow Investment Club in Sebastopol, CA) and online financial forums.

Fun.

For fun – there’s the beach, friends or weddings.

For any of you looking like I am, we could:

Take up golf which could give us women a large supply of older men.

Host Parties Once-Removed – the Six Degrees of Barbecue. You know how you always invite the same seventeen people to all of your parties? Bring some new blood to the old gang. With Parties Once-Removed, everybody you invite brings someone that nobody else in the group knows. Think of it as six degrees of separation, only backwards. You’ll have a party full of brand new people who already get along great with your closest friends.

Join dating Sites are a must for widespread searches and they help you with choosing all the particulars you desire in a man. Tom Blake advises we find a dating site in what we love doing. There’s dating sites like Hikers Passion for those who love hiking; Single Gourmet Dating for food lovers, chefs, wine lovers, etc; Christian Cupid dating service that assists Christian singles; and and Singles of Faith for those looking for Faith-based relationships.

So we have the where to possibly find him part down, but when we do find them, how do we know it’s a good match?

What is a good match that will lead to love?

Love is difficult to define and everyone has different love languages. We discovered this when I wrote the post, Warning: Dreamer Finds A Secret Love Language For Singles covering the different love languages.  How do you avoid confusing it with infatuation or lust?

Philosophers and psychologists both have attempted to define love, or at least its difference from infatuation and lust. If you are looking to find love, the following observations may be helpful.

Ann Landers, the famous advice columnist says the following about love –

Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another.
Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and places about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely.
It might spoil the dream.
Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence even when he/she is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him/her nearer, but near or far, you know he/she is yours and you can wait.
Infatuation says, “We must get married right away! I can’t risk losing you!”
Love says, “Be patient. Do not panic. Plan your future with confidence.”
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.
Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he/she is away you wonder if he/she is cheating. Sometimes you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and not threatened. Your beloved feels that also and that makes them even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will.
Love is elevating. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It lifts you up.
It makes you a better person.

Here is my definition of love -

My heart beats faster and I get short of breath when I see him.
I can’t keep my hands off of him.
I feel that true love is when they get better looking the more I get to know them.
When his wants and needs are parallel with mine.
Love is about looking in the same direction together.
When I can’t imagine living life without him.

So what are you dreaming of for love?

Veronica

Veronica rotated off 8 Women Dream in December of 2010 after successfully completing 2 dreams.


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  • Truly

    The author’s definition of love is not love.  She’s defined infatuation and some lust.  Ann Lander’s definition, above, is much better.

  • Carrie

    Really don’t rush romance because you are at the right location, develop a ground for friendship by doing something you love to do and becoming friends with men, so you have time to understand each other prior to diving into romance.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KXVHr-YOLU&feature=related Moms Bucket List

    Great post. This gives me hope that maybe I can find someone too after age 59. Thank you!

  • Laurie Allen

    Veronica,
    My sister found her man in the want ads. I know it sounds a little weird, but he is an awesome guy and they’ve been together a long time now. Some times it’s cool to state what you want …within reason and then see what happens. A really good idea if you are power dating is the coffee date. Short and sweet to see if there’s any heat. Then go from there. It’s a practice like meditation. You have to focus…energy out, energy in, the zen of man hunting…..eightwomen dream should write that book.
    Have Fun, Laurie

  • Veronica

    when you are ready we can try wheat worked with me!

  • Remy, the photographer

    i think I’ve been in love only once in my life- and it was with someone I didn’t marry. He was one of my dearest friends, could say anything to him, and knew that he loved me for me. I would seek out that kind of connection – maybe some truth to marrying your best friend. Be In love and in like with them. I wish you luck girl! I’m not ready yet…but I”ll look for you to guide me when I am! xo Rem

  • Rayne

    I had a friend find love after 50 and she said the key was to “think Southern.” She was friendly and chatty and helped others and if someone held a door for her, she said, Well, aren’t you the sweetest thing?” She found love. In fact, I think she found it several times.

    • Veronica

      (laughing) Rayne you kill me. Yes, I think I will try that.

  • Toni Schram

    FYI, Golf is no longer played by only fat, old wrinkly farts in gawd awful plaid knickers.

    I used to golf when I was married and met all kinds of funny, intelligent, successful guys (all ages). They need to have attained some level of success to pay for those $$$ golf clubs and green fees. And then there is the fact that they are able to take time off work to pursue their hole-in-ones and low scores.

    I bet you could swing a mean club. LOL

    Good luck with all your experiments in love.

    ~Toni

    • Veronica

      True. It would be fun to do a 8 women Dream golf day. I could swing a mean club!

  • Heather, the e-commerce builder

    I like the whole “6 degrees of separation” idea – you never know with all our other groups, networks, friends and family where that perfect person is hiding!

    I may have run across someone this weekend! We need to talk…

    Great post – H

    • Veronica

      Okay, call me!

  • Mariska Smith

    I’m not where near 50, but I can still dream of meeting the right guy too. You have given me lots of ideas on where to possibly meet someone. I have been actually thinking of using the services of a matchmaker because of the TV shows I have seen about them. They tell you directly what you can be doing to sabotage your dating. Thanks for the list of what love is by Ann Landers. I have definately never been in love yet. Too much infatuation. M

    • Veronica

      Don’t worry – look at me – there’s plenty of time. You can do it too and let us know how it’s going for you! Thanks for your comment!

  • http://www.marriednumb.com Corey

    I was referred over here from one of our forum posters and thought I would say hi and wish you the best on finding someone – Corey

    • Veronica

      Thank you Corey!

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention » Are You Dreaming of Love After 50, 8 Women Dream -- Topsy.com()

    • Veronica

      Thanks for the tweets everyone!

  • Catherine, Site Admin

    Also, did you start saying hello to everyone as you were out and about this week and how did that go for you?

  • Catherine, Site Admin

    Sometimes I wonder if I have ever really been in love. I think all my relationships have been infatuation.

    I think some of us pick infatuation so that we don’t have to get too close or put too much on the line. I don’t envy what road you are about to go down.

    Yeiks!

    Cath

    • Veronica

      You should join me and do this too!