How Goldie Hawn Helped Birth A Pup And Inspired A Screenwriter

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A Lotus Grows In The Mud Goldie Hawn Helped Birth A Pup

No one in the Hollywood biz will look at your work unless you have an agent. You need to be recommended by someone in the Hollywood biz to retain an agent.

Say what?

That’s the Hollywood game and the life of a screenwriter. You need to think outside of the box to get your projects read. Getting your screenplay looked at takes loads of moxie and initiation. I’ve been at this dream of getting a screenplay produced for a while now.

I’d like to tell you the story of one of the times we used our moxie toward our dream –

The caper: Get script to subject Goldie Hawn, author.

Location: Book Passage in Corte Madera, California.

When: Go to book signing event of A Lotus Grows In The Mud.

Modus operandi: Tell her there’s a role created especially for her and convince her that she just has to take a look at it.

It’s D-day, the morning of Goldie’s book signing. As I arrive to pick my friend Laurie up she informs of a slight problem. Louis, her cock-a-poo, has been in labor all night long. Her two previous litters were delivered quickly once labor began.

Not so much this time.

We look at the clock and wonder if we should bring her to the animal hospital. The clock is ticking.

We decide to risk it and drive this laboring bitch to the Vet, who informs us mom Louise is progressing fine, but if she hasn’t given birth in four hours to bring her back in.

Laurie sets up a nesting spot in the back seat of the car and we zoom off south down the 101, ready to cash in on our dreams.

You gotta go hard or go home.

We arrive at Book Passage, buy two copies of Goldie’s book and get in line. We’ve decided that when it’s our turn to have our books signed, Laurie will perform her magic. We envision Goldie regaling us with her famous giggle while telling us, she can’t wait to read “Divine Intervention.”

In a perfect world.

Laurie goes out to check on Louis one final time before meeting Goldie. Little bitch is now fully in labor. We both know, Laurie must to stay with Louis. Us girls have to stay together when a fellow bitch is giving birth, even when it’s a small, soft barking one.

It will be up to me to sell the screenplay.

Sometimes you just have to believe. To be certain without reason to have faith in the unseen. – Liz Betrey

Sometimes capers hit a snag or two.

I hadn’t practiced the pitch (note to self-be prepared to pitch the pitch, bitch). I start to talk to myself like a madwoman and the rube in front of me turns around and notices I’m holding a screenplay.

He precedes to tell me that he used to live in Hollywood and recounts ad nauseam, the list of ALL the movie stars he ever met. Blah, blah, blah. I’m trying to be cordial while simultaneously conjuring up a pitch and worrying about the whelping going on in Laurie’s car.

Will he just shut the hell up already and let me concentrate.

When it’s my turn to meet Goldie Hawn I notice her great energy, her beauty and smile. I begin to tell her about our screenplay and she tells me that in order to legally protect herself from lawsuits she only reads scripts that come from an agent.

Right now would be a good time to re-read my opening sentence.

I thank her and race out to the car and notice the windows are all steamed up. I open the door and see Laurie glistening with mid-puppori sweat, Louis has given birth to one puppy. We’re momentarily caught up in the euphoria of Louis’s masterpiece.

Our attention wanders from newborn bliss to the mission at hand.

Shit. We’ve failed to deliver.

We should be grateful that Louis safely has a pup and Goldie Hawn signed our books.

BUT. The mission is not complete.

Plan B needs to be hatched. Goldie will have to eventually venture out to the parking lot. Laurie and I look each other in the eye and know (telepathy rules) what to do. She flips the puppy over and SCORE, it’s a female! We will name her Goldie in honor of Ms. Hawn.

Goldie and her entourage emerge from the bookstore and make a beeline for a sports car right near our car.

We have to make a stand, right here, right now, to give our dream a chance. People are clamoring for her autograph, a woman takes a photo of Goldie and her two young daughters next to the fancy car. Her assistant is anxious to get her boss out of there and keeps reminding Goldie, it’s time to go.

What do you think happens next?

A. We smile and thank Goldie for coming.
B. Panic and do nothing-kicking ourselves all the way home for missing our golden opportunity.
C. Go clearly out of our comfort zone and find a way to get our screenplay into Goldie’s hands.
D. The crazy lady who keeps lurking around our car sabotages our plans.

Stay tuned until next time and find out if our moxie and charm win Goldie over.

In the meantime, what will you do this week to step out of your comfort zone and let me know you answers in the comments!


Toni left 8 Women Dream in November of 2010 to work on Club B and her screenplay.

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  • Toni Schram

    A woman’s gotta flaunt her can-do girl spirit. If she fails at that, her dreams will never be realized…

  • michelle

    cute. what can-do spirit you have. such an inspiration. m

  • Toni Schram

    Thanks, Don, for following me on my journey to get our screenplay made. It will be a wacky adventure for sure.

    Laurie and I will also be pitching a TV talk show! A woman’s that will definitely push the envelope.

    Thanks again-

  • Don

    This is some inspirational site. Never knew that dreams could be this varied. Thanks for all the enthusiasm to offer help with our dreams. I am looking forward to your screenplay writing stories and following you to success.

  • Mary

    Great story Toni…I’m guessing A? You need to come to the Proverbial Box, sister. Just saying.

  • T-bone

    Best story yet, sista! Can’t wait for the suspenseful ending… LOL!

    A little presenting and a little poll dancing tonight is a step in the right direction to my dreams…


  • Toni Schram

    I’m lifting my glass to “Someday”. I visited Missouri and Oklahoma two summers ago and meet some of the nicest, most gracious people ever…

    I hope you will continue working on your “Someday” list wherever that might lead you. That’s what life is all about.

  • GREAT post Toni, what a story, and love the cliff-hanger!!! Hoping it’s C but sounds like it might be something else??!

    Can’t wait to find out… You’re quite the storyteller… So fun to have you as part of the group!


    • Toni Schram

      Thanks Lisa for the props! Something else? Yeah, that’s a great description of Laurie and me. But if you’re not something else (out there), chances are you won’t ever be noticed and your dream will never be had…

  • Toni Schram

    Why don’t you bring your sisters to Congo-A-Go-Go on Saturday, June 26 in Santa Rosa? It’s a benefit for our charity Women for Women International.

    We are sponsoring one women for a year’s education. This will allow her to gain the skills needed to start her own business and bring her knowledge back to her

    It’s an all women’s dinner show (served by men) with entertainment and Club Bitch will be performing two if
    not three raps.

    You can’t miss this event!

    Come back next Wednesday for the conclusion!

    • EdnaZ

      Thanks for the invite, Toni. I live in the MidWest – otherwise I would SO be there.
      Right now it has to go under the ‘SomeDay’ heading, but I am hopeful. : )
      Here’s to SomeDay!

  • EdnaZ

    I vote for C ! What a day you had! I eagerly await the conclusion of your caper.
    And Oh My Heavens! I just watched the Club Bitch video. The camaraderie was magical. I hope to take my sisters to a Club Bitch party one day.

  • Toni Schram

    You can catch the conclusion of this caper on Wednesday
    April 21!

  • So you are going to leave us hanging for . . . a week, a month?

  • Toni Schram

    So you all think it’s C. You may be surprised…

    Jim-I found her to be such a sweet lady. No pretentiousness at all.

  • I’ve done A a ton, B more than I want to admit, and I am D on several occasions.

    I’m in for C – can’t wait for the end of the caper!

    – Heather

  • jim

    She’s been absolutely beautiful and talented in the 4 films or so I’ve seen her in. Never read her book tho.

  • Remy, the photographer

    I vote C as well, but know that whatever happened, you took action and you’re moving ahead…and yeah for puppy babies! thanks for the laugh…Rem

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  • Catherine, Site Admin

    I’m going for answer C!

    This week I’d just like to get some sleep. I am burned out.

    But you and Laurie with your stories always make me laugh and regenerate me to continue on.