No one in the Hollywood biz will look at your work unless you have an agent. You need to be recommended by someone in the Hollywood biz to retain an agent.
That’s the Hollywood game and the life of a screenwriter. You need to think outside of the box to get your projects read. Getting your screenplay looked at takes loads of moxie and initiation. I’ve been at this dream of getting a screenplay produced for a while now.
I’d like to tell you the story of one of the times we used our moxie toward our dream –
The caper: Get script to subject Goldie Hawn, author.
Location: Book Passage in Corte Madera, California.
When: Go to book signing event of A Lotus Grows In The Mud.
Modus operandi: Tell her there’s a role created especially for her and convince her that she just has to take a look at it.
It’s D-day, the morning of Goldie’s book signing. As I arrive to pick my friend Laurie up she informs of a slight problem. Louis, her cock-a-poo, has been in labor all night long. Her two previous litters were delivered quickly once labor began.
Not so much this time.
We look at the clock and wonder if we should bring her to the animal hospital. The clock is ticking.
We decide to risk it and drive this laboring bitch to the Vet, who informs us mom Louise is progressing fine, but if she hasn’t given birth in four hours to bring her back in.
Laurie sets up a nesting spot in the back seat of the car and we zoom off south down the 101, ready to cash in on our dreams.
You gotta go hard or go home.
We arrive at Book Passage, buy two copies of Goldie’s book and get in line. We’ve decided that when it’s our turn to have our books signed, Laurie will perform her magic. We envision Goldie regaling us with her famous giggle while telling us, she can’t wait to read “Divine Intervention.”
In a perfect world.
Laurie goes out to check on Louis one final time before meeting Goldie. Little bitch is now fully in labor. We both know, Laurie must to stay with Louis. Us girls have to stay together when a fellow bitch is giving birth, even when it’s a small, soft barking one.
It will be up to me to sell the screenplay.
Sometimes you just have to believe. To be certain without reason to have faith in the unseen. – Liz Betrey
Sometimes capers hit a snag or two.
I hadn’t practiced the pitch (note to self-be prepared to pitch the pitch, bitch). I start to talk to myself like a madwoman and the rube in front of me turns around and notices I’m holding a screenplay.
He precedes to tell me that he used to live in Hollywood and recounts ad nauseam, the list of ALL the movie stars he ever met. Blah, blah, blah. I’m trying to be cordial while simultaneously conjuring up a pitch and worrying about the whelping going on in Laurie’s car.
Will he just shut the hell up already and let me concentrate.
When it’s my turn to meet Goldie Hawn I notice her great energy, her beauty and smile. I begin to tell her about our screenplay and she tells me that in order to legally protect herself from lawsuits she only reads scripts that come from an agent.
Right now would be a good time to re-read my opening sentence.
I thank her and race out to the car and notice the windows are all steamed up. I open the door and see Laurie glistening with mid-puppori sweat, Louis has given birth to one puppy. We’re momentarily caught up in the euphoria of Louis’s masterpiece.
Our attention wanders from newborn bliss to the mission at hand.
Shit. We’ve failed to deliver.
We should be grateful that Louis safely has a pup and Goldie Hawn signed our books.
BUT. The mission is not complete.
Plan B needs to be hatched. Goldie will have to eventually venture out to the parking lot. Laurie and I look each other in the eye and know (telepathy rules) what to do. She flips the puppy over and SCORE, it’s a female! We will name her Goldie in honor of Ms. Hawn.
Goldie and her entourage emerge from the bookstore and make a beeline for a sports car right near our car.
We have to make a stand, right here, right now, to give our dream a chance. People are clamoring for her autograph, a woman takes a photo of Goldie and her two young daughters next to the fancy car. Her assistant is anxious to get her boss out of there and keeps reminding Goldie, it’s time to go.
What do you think happens next?
A. We smile and thank Goldie for coming.
B. Panic and do nothing-kicking ourselves all the way home for missing our golden opportunity.
C. Go clearly out of our comfort zone and find a way to get our screenplay into Goldie’s hands.
D. The crazy lady who keeps lurking around our car sabotages our plans.
Stay tuned until next time and find out if our moxie and charm win Goldie over.
In the meantime, what will you do this week to step out of your comfort zone and let me know you answers in the comments!
Toni left 8 Women Dream in November of 2010 to work on Club B and her screenplay.